Poetry

Three little kisses

When I’m very happy
I kiss you three times

Three little kisses
To show you my affection
I just can’t help myself

My body is spinning at high speed
I need to let some energy out
I shake and smile and tremble
And then I kiss you

Sweetly
Teasing
Filled with love

One
Two
Three
Little kisses

You smile and laugh
But you don’t understand
Don’t know what this means

So I smile back
And rest happily in your arms knowing

⁃ You have melted my heart

Poetry

Chasing the unreachable

I like the idea of belonging to someone
Have someone to tell my secrets to
Share my worries

I have spent enough time
Chasing the unreachable
Every time I got close
They would move further away

It’s exciting
Exhilarating
And exhausting

So I’m done

With you, I feel comfortable
Close
Clean
As if all my previous mistakes have been washed away
For a new shiny slate

A new story just for me to fuck up

I hope I don’t
I truly hope I don’t let my thoughts and doubts
Get the best of me
They usually do

But wouldn’t it be nice
If just for once
I let someone be nice to me

I let someone treat me well

⁃ I want to deserve you

Poetry

Giggly

How can you make me feel so nervous
Like I’ve got nothing to say
Everything I say sounds silly
Giggly
And childish

I want to make you smile
Make you run away
And never look back

That way I won’t fall in love again
Won’t get disappointed
Won’t have my heart broken again

But what if I didn’t
What if I actually tried
And showed you the real me

Not the pink haired unicorn girly-girl
The vulnerable quiet insecure one
The one I rarely show the world

For it is easier to put on a show
Than allow others to hurt and judge you

Easier playing the fool
Than who we really are

For what if someone see you
And doesn’t like you

⁃ I really don’t want to fuck this up

Poetry

You and I are a strange match

You and I are a strange match

A crazy couple

You smile

Spark

I laugh

Fire

We touch

Blazing heat

I want to tell you so bad

But I’m scared of ruining it

Scared of letting go

Letting myself fall

If I fall I’m lost

If I fall I’ll loose

If I fall I need you to catch me

A cliché but true

A burden but important

A exaggeration but underrated

For if you are not there for me

Who will be

If you won’t hold me close at night

Who will?

We’re a strange match

A funny couple

But maybe that just might work

Maybe that just might be right

Maybe we should try

Poetry, Written Words

Too much

When there’s too much, I give up.
When all seems lost, I just want to sleep.
When all is right, it falls apart the minute it’s gone.
I put too much on the table and end up with nothing in my hands.

All these thoughts and pressures help nobody but the stress-minions in my body.
They grow stronger for every minute, trying to make it all okay.
Trying to become the person the world is telling me to be.
Clever, smart, brilliant, unique, thin and special.
All in one day.
All in one hour.

But it’s too much.
So I give up.

I stop trying for either way I know I will fail.
Know I can’t do it all in one day.
So why even try.

It’s all too much.

Poetry, Written Words

I have given up on love

I have given up on love
on believing there will be someone there
at all those lonely night
I find myself wondering
if maybe I was fooling myself
this whole time

Maybe I should have quit long ago
in the forrest they wait
but not for me
for the next best thing
the perfect thing ready to do
whatever they’re told

I’m not like that
I don’t work that way
maybe that’s why I’ve given up
because every time I try
it all just seems to get thrown
straight into my face
all over again

I sit in silence and hear the world
outside my window
stare into nothing and
sing a little song
tomorrow is a new day
some people are not for you
we have to face it
but one day
one special day
you will face the one that is

 

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

My bookshelf

As I take a look at my bookshelf I see numerous hobbies and things that interest me. French language, fairytales, classic literature, film, photography, poetry, hiking, traveling, social media, corny love novels etc. etc. With all these many different thoughts going through my head, no wonder I’m having a hard time figuring out what I want to be.

But that’s the thing. Do we really have to sit down and sign a lease saying we will be doing the same thing for the rest of our lives? Or do we simply have to start at one and then work our way through the rest till we seem semi happy and feel like we can live like that the rest of our lives.

I am a big believer in being specific. Being great at one thing and then knowing everything about that one thing. But let’s just say that a bit hard when you still haven’t gotten to the point where you narrow down to that ONE thing.

After spending my whole summer in Toronto thinking about this I came to realize something. Maybe I don’t have to figure it out right now. Sure I don’t know where I’m going in life etc, but who does? My mom just took another new education in something with needles and meditation and she’s 54. So I think I have plenty of time.

But one thing I noticed was. With all these different hobbies, there is a lot of different knowledge. Knowledge is a thing you can’t buy or fake. you simply have to do the reading or care. So knowing about all these things: unicorns, Peter Pans, Nicholas Sparks Novels (trust me it will come in handy one day) or the history of film. All these things will be useful to me one day, which ever career I end up in.

 

So maybe I should try to worry less and just be happy that I am not sick of the world and all it has to offer. Be happy that I have a curious mind and want to learn it all in half the time that is available to me. Maybe you should be a bit nicer to yourself as well. And just smile.