Poetry

Nervous

I am so nervous
Feel it deep in my bones
What if they don’t like it
What if no one shows up

This was suppose to be a big moment for me
Suddenly it’s all about the practicalities
The quantity not quality
The business

I don’t even want to go
I’m not badass
I should be yelling from the rooftops
But find myself crawling into the corner

I don’t want to talk to anyone
Don’t want anyone to know

What was I thinking
Putting all these words into the world
Who is going to care
Who will read them
Appreciate them

⁃ Is it too late to give up?

Poetry

Marketing mess

Hi everybody.

Big news! I’m publishing my very own poetry collection on October 16th. It’s going to be huge for me and I can’t wait.

So lately I have been trying to use Instagram for marketing. I guess I just got kind of sick of it today. The whole selling and earning money aspect. I just wanted to write beautiful and honest poetry that might help someone some day. Do you ever feel like that. Anyway here is my poem about my thoughts of trying to figure out this whole marketing mess. Enjoy!

How do you stand out in a crowd of letters
How do you make them see you for who you really are

Not the cliché they will turn you into
Not for the uncertain laughs they will hand to you

I need to untangle from this marketing mess
Need to remember who I am doing this for
And the answer is me
Not them
Not you

I am helping me and only me by bringing these sentences to life
I rescue myself from the dreaded boredom
I don’t do it for fame
Money
Or acknowledgment
I just couldn’t stop it the words flowing
Running through my body

So I wrote them down
Now here I am
Showing you my best kept secrets
My inner thoughts
And you expect me to make a business out of it
You expect me to sell it like lemonade
I’m not sure I can do it
Not sure I was made for that

I guess I just wanted to share it with you
So here it is

⁃ Hope you’ll enjoy it

Poetry

Honest

29 august 2018

If I could be honest with you
I’d tell you I miss you
Tell you I wish we were back in each other’s arms
Everything was much easier back then
But admitting that to your face would be like admitting I regret the ending
But I don’t
We needed that time apart to find our true selves
Figure out who we are
Figure out who we wanted to be

If I had the courage I would tell you I miss you
Tell you I miss the sense of comfort and belonging that you gave to me

You were my first
First heartbreak
First love

If you were in front of me I would walk closer to you
Look into your eyes
The eyes I know so well
The eyes that make me weak

I would tell you I love you
Tell you I’d never let you go again
But this won’t happen
You are not here
And I am not brave enough
Just naive

Poetry

Twenty four

I guess I thought life would be different at twenty four
That I wouldn’t wake up with the smell of wine stuck between my teeth

That I would have gotten sick of kissing strangers
Sick of thinking of the same old love
Sick of regretting the same things

Twenty four seemed like the age I would have my life together
Would know my goals and aim for them
Clean my room and always take out the trash

Always wear high heels for birthdays
Always look my best
But I feel just like I did at nineteen
And twenty two

Feel confused and tired and tipsy
Horny but looking for love
Late but running for the train
The train to adulthood

I can still catch it if I just wear an unstained dress
If I just pick one solid guy and make myself fall for him
If I just choose one job career and pull through
even though I hate every minute of it

Then maybe I will someday reach that famous next level
Maybe then I won’t think twenty four is that bad
Maybe I will think back at it and smile.

Poetry

Love or loneliness

19 August 00:40

People always talk about love or lust
But what about love or loneliness
Do we ever just stay with someone just because we’re scared to be alone
For the comfort?

You know when it’s love
You know when you can’t stop feeling the sparks flying and the bobbles flowing

But what if it’s just not happening
Something is not right
But you stay with them because it’s better than not having someone there
Better than sleeping alone all those night

Comfort is a nice place but also a scary one
You quickly get used to it and it’s really hard to get out of

Suddenly you start mistaking comfort and safety with love

Suddenly you can’t picture your life without that someone next to you
simply because you like the warm breath on your neck

It could be anybody
It just happened to be you ’cause I got tired of looking
Got sick of the game before I made it till the end
So I stopped a halfway
and tricked myself into believing
I had won first prize

But I didn’t

Suddenly one day you wake up
and realize you stayed for all the wrong reasons

For the touch
the kind words
the attention
the eagerness
the accessory
the role

But it’s not him
You can’t fake love
You can’t fake real feelings

Lust is easy to fake
Comfort is hard to find

But love it forever and once you find it you’ll know it

– I don’t want to fall in love with comfort

Poetry

You are so kind

You are so kind
You are so kind
It’s not like the other times

You are so sweet
I don’t know how to treat you right
scared of breaking you

The others were strong
Sexy
Grand

But you
You are genuine
Sweet

The good kind
The loving kind
The marrying kind

I don’t know how to act
How to talk
How to deserve such a sweet creature as you

But maybe it’s time I try
Try to find something worth my time
Someone to take care of me for a change
Someone to be kind to me