Poetry

Three little kisses

When I’m very happy
I kiss you three times

Three little kisses
To show you my affection
I just can’t help myself

My body is spinning at high speed
I need to let some energy out
I shake and smile and tremble
And then I kiss you

Sweetly
Teasing
Filled with love

One
Two
Three
Little kisses

You smile and laugh
But you don’t understand
Don’t know what this means

So I smile back
And rest happily in your arms knowing

⁃ You have melted my heart

Poetry

Collapsed Universe

I didn’t know how to tell you
So I decided to write it down for you instead

I like you
I really do
But the truth is

I’m scared
Scared of liking you
Scared you might like me back

For what if we fall in love
Will it all happen again
The agony
The hurting

I’ve been loved before
Have someone mean the whole world to them
But then they tore that world down
Before I was ready to say goodbye

So I guess what I’m trying to say is
Be gentle with me
I may come off as strong and fierce
But you have to know
I’m only trying to survive
Trying to save myself from yet another dream being torn apart
Another universe collapsing before my eyes

I like you
I know that
I’ve tried to scare the feeling away
But they keep coming back
I’ve tried to run
Replace you with someone else
But you keep popping up everywhere

You like me
I see it in your eyes
The way you look at me
I don’t want to hurt you
Which is why I’m telling you this
For if I can’t be honest with you
If can’t be honest with myself
Then I will never heal

⁃ I want a universe to last

Poetry

Happy

So he makes me happy
What is so wrong with that

So he makes me smile
What is so wrong with that

So he makes me come
Does that mean I should stop

Do I have to be certain of the future
In order to see him in my present
Do I have to know the answer to everything

Isn’t it enough that I feel more alive
Than I have for months

That I look up into the clouds and see the sun
Instead on looking down and seeing darkness

Sometimes it’s as simple as that
It doesn’t have to be complicated
In order to be worth it

Doesn’t have to make you sad
Before you can be happy

⁃ Being with you makes me happy

Poetry

Infatuation

Do you ever get so infatuated with someone
That even their name turns you on

That even though you know
It will never happen
You can’t help trying
You know the outcome and
It doesn’t look good
But he does

What ever he does
Makes you flinch
Makes you fantasize about touching those fingers
One at the time
Kissing those lips
Soft at first
Then passionately

Saying your name out loud is a new found hobby of mine
I find odd pleasure in pretending I’m yours and you’re mine
Feeling each syllable leave my tongue and fall neatly off my open lips
The lips you close in on
Your eyes lock in mine
You smile and say
“Tell me what you’re thinking about”

You, I think
Always you
But I keep quiet
And simply say my favorite words

– I never knew a name could be my favorite word

Poetry

Easy

It was so easy
The first date
The first kiss
It all flew past me as if it had all happened in another life

Meeting my friends
Staying over
Was this it
Is this how you fall in love
Without complications
Without issues

The first touch
The first time
Nothing out of the ordinary
Just you and I
As if we had always been
You and I

The toothbrush staying over
The socks on the floor

Is this love?
Is this what everybody is searching for
It feels too easy

Does love have to be hard for it to be worth it
Haven’t I spent enough time with troubled love stories
Enough time trying to figure out
What is going on

Then once I have it easy
I complain

Maybe the easy love is the best love
The one you should search for
Maybe I like the directness of this

Because if it’s real
It doesn’t matter if it came to you
In the hard way
Or the easy way

As long as it found it’s way to you

⁃ This feels good

Poetry

Chasing the unreachable

I like the idea of belonging to someone
Have someone to tell my secrets to
Share my worries

I have spent enough time
Chasing the unreachable
Every time I got close
They would move further away

It’s exciting
Exhilarating
And exhausting

So I’m done

With you, I feel comfortable
Close
Clean
As if all my previous mistakes have been washed away
For a new shiny slate

A new story just for me to fuck up

I hope I don’t
I truly hope I don’t let my thoughts and doubts
Get the best of me
They usually do

But wouldn’t it be nice
If just for once
I let someone be nice to me

I let someone treat me well

⁃ I want to deserve you