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Is a date just a flirty job interview? 

Is a date just a flirty job interview?

“Hi my name is Karoline and I would like to apply for the title as your future girlfriend.
Here is my resumé and background….
Omg I also love to travel! What are the odds?”

Pretty damn high if I’m honest.

I’ve never really been a big dater. The sort of girl who go on many dates. I sorta believe in this thing called faith. When its time the universe will guide me to “the one”.
Or “the next one” before “the one”.

All my previous relationships have happened random. A meet cute, a friend of a friend, a summer vacation etc. Nothing was forced or planned. It was just sort of there.

Today I went on my 6th Tinder date…  I’m neither against nor for the app. Loads of people have found exactly what they wanted to find, that being love or lust.
I suppose I’m just a wee bit romantic and telling my future kids how we met would be a boring story.  “He was pretty hot” or “I sent him a dirty GIF.” And seeing that I’m a storyteller that really won’t do now, will it.

No…
I want the story.

I want the full on “How I met your dad” story:

“It was a cold night in the middle of Serbia. Then out of nowhere there, he was. Your Dad. So handsome. Sitting on a white horse wearing a leather jacket. Hawt….
And then he killed the wolf and saved the village…..
We’re been together ever since.” (insert audience going awww)
– kinda story.

Is that too much to ask?

Well, unfortunately, my friends, family, and hormones are not willing to wait any longer for this great wolf warrior to come along and save me.
Hence Tinder…

I mean if you want to find love in this modern digital world you have to use apps.
At least that’s what everybody keeps telling me.
So I try, give up, delete it, try again and round and round we go.

But today I ended up doing what normal people, looking for love, do. I went on a date.
Maybe I’ve been out of it for too long or had given up beforehand, but it was not a raving success. Sorry to kill your vibe.

I have a weird sort of sixth sense. I know right away, some might say instantly, if a guy is going to play a part in my life.
I know instantly if I like him.

And here I knew it instantly. This is not it. I think he knew it too. There’s nothing wrong with it and its no one’s fault. It’s better to find out right away. We’re all looking for the spark and you can’t really feel if it’s there through text.
In some cases, yeah sure you can. You can tell if you’ll have fun on the date etc.
But that magical spark I’m talking about.
You have to meet.
Have to look them in the eyes.
Hear their voice.
Feel their personality.

Now, what do you do, when you both know it’s not there. Do you just excuse yourself and run off.
No. We’re far too polite to do that. So we do the flirty job interview. You may not actually be flirting, but it just means that you keep the conversation light and “sexy” enough so you’re both reminded that this indeed isn’t a job interview. That the purpose of this meeting was originally to end the day with a kiss. Not a handshake.

We walk and talk. Ask politely about his interest and family. All the while knowing you will never see this person again. Not because they’re not a nice person. Just because they didn’t fit the description you had in mind. The job description.

So what have I learned from this tame date. Not a lot to be honest. ‘Cause even if we had been texting for 3 weeks, this might still have happened.
Feelings are a funny thing. No one quite understands them.

So I’m just going to continue walking around, going on flirty job interviews until my wolf warrior comes along and sweeps me off the ground.

But I will be patient for faith has a great way of surprising us. And we love her for it.
I will be ready for that perfect love to hit me like the bus hit Georgina in Mean Girls.

Fast, hard and uncontrollably.

Because that’s what love is. A beautiful mess.

Much love Karoline

 

 

 

 

Poetry

I love dancing with you

17 January 2018 00:26

I love dancing with you
Love how you twirl me around and make me feel like the entire world is about me

Your hands
Your eyes
Your smile
Everything turns me on

I love watching you dance
The joy you feel jumps to my heart and make me want to be with you
Be close you to
Belong to you

I love watching you come near me
Asking me for just one dance
Telling me I’m getting better
I’ll improve
You’ll behave

All this nonstop chatter and flirting is making me confused
For all I want is you by my side
Dancing all night long
You and I

But you keep dancing
Keep flashing that smile of yours
Was it ever mine to keep or just another one of your toys

I love dancing with you for I feel naked
I feel vulnerable
With no one else in sight
Just you and I lost in a trance

I love feeling your heart beat and anticipating your next move
Hopefully it will soon move to my heart
For it is your to take

Poetry

Meant to be

17 june 2018 8:53

It was meant to be

Written in the stars

that’s what they all say

Before those were just words in a sentence

Before that, was just sounds from a mouth

Suddenly I see the truth in them

Suddenly it seems as if it’s more than just a night

More than just a kiss

I saw you

Looked into your eyes all night

Talked about your family

Asked about my dreams

Our eyes grew tired as the sun came up

Our bodies fit together like a puzzle

No need to push

No need to adjust

It just said click

As I looked into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen

I started to wonder

Will I see them again

Will I be in those arms once more

I sat down on the bed watching you dress

Hoping it would be true

All the things we said

The promises we made

I hoped it would be a way for the universe to show me

That this was where I was meant to be

Poetry

It took one glance

It took one image to fall back in love with you

One glance for all the feeling to come crashing down on me

The memories returning l, making me wonder why we ever stopped

We were good together

Weren’t we?

We should be together

Shouldn’t we?

Is it too late now?

Did I loose my chance

Fuck it all up with my insecurity and doubtful mind

I really hope one day you will forgive me

That one day I get to look into those eyes again

The eyes that made me believe in love once again

Poetry

You are so kind

You are so kind
You are so kind
It’s not like the other times

You are so sweet
I don’t know how to treat you right
scared of breaking you

The others were strong
Sexy
Grand

But you
You are genuine
Sweet

The good kind
The loving kind
The marrying kind

I don’t know how to act
How to talk
How to deserve such a sweet creature as you

But maybe it’s time I try
Try to find something worth my time
Someone to take care of me for a change
Someone to be kind to me

Poetry

Dreams

I dream of lying close to you
Feeling your breath on my skin
The feeling of belonging and safety will return to my body

I dream of telling my mom about you
And showing her my affections for you
The last time I miscalculated

I dream of being the one you dream of all through the lonely nights
To be the one you want to hold tight and be yours for the saving

I dream that this dream will not remain a dream but someday turn into reality

I wish so hard that tears are falling from my eyes showing the gods how much I care

Could this be a new muse
Could this be the end of you?
And the return of my old self

Oh how I wish and pray and dream.

I dream this dream will someday come true

Poetry, Written Words

Warmth

I need a warm body to get me through this cold winter
I feel the breeze inside my body and need you to scare it away

Tea no longer helps. It’s artificial warmth and I need the real deal
With you close to my body I will get the necessary heat to stay alive

Tonight it is especially cold
Tonight it is especially lonely
Warmth is not just about the temperature
It’s about the sensation and atmosphere in the room

The electricity between us roasts the room allowing it to kept this pleasant temperature
These sparks set the room on fire without the need of extinguishers.

It’s just us
But its fake
For you are no here
Nobody is except me

Here I lie freezing, dreaming of warmer times
Fantasizing about strange bodies

Hopefully one day soon I won’t need to think these thoughts anymore.

For you will be here warming me up.