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Is a date just a flirty job interview? 

Is a date just a flirty job interview?

“Hi my name is Karoline and I would like to apply for the title as your future girlfriend.
Here is my resumé and background….
Omg I also love to travel! What are the odds?”

Pretty damn high if I’m honest.

I’ve never really been a big dater. The sort of girl who go on many dates. I sorta believe in this thing called faith. When its time the universe will guide me to “the one”.
Or “the next one” before “the one”.

All my previous relationships have happened random. A meet cute, a friend of a friend, a summer vacation etc. Nothing was forced or planned. It was just sort of there.

Today I went on my 6th Tinder date…  I’m neither against nor for the app. Loads of people have found exactly what they wanted to find, that being love or lust.
I suppose I’m just a wee bit romantic and telling my future kids how we met would be a boring story.  “He was pretty hot” or “I sent him a dirty GIF.” And seeing that I’m a storyteller that really won’t do now, will it.

No…
I want the story.

I want the full on “How I met your dad” story:

“It was a cold night in the middle of Serbia. Then out of nowhere there, he was. Your Dad. So handsome. Sitting on a white horse wearing a leather jacket. Hawt….
And then he killed the wolf and saved the village…..
We’re been together ever since.” (insert audience going awww)
– kinda story.

Is that too much to ask?

Well, unfortunately, my friends, family, and hormones are not willing to wait any longer for this great wolf warrior to come along and save me.
Hence Tinder…

I mean if you want to find love in this modern digital world you have to use apps.
At least that’s what everybody keeps telling me.
So I try, give up, delete it, try again and round and round we go.

But today I ended up doing what normal people, looking for love, do. I went on a date.
Maybe I’ve been out of it for too long or had given up beforehand, but it was not a raving success. Sorry to kill your vibe.

I have a weird sort of sixth sense. I know right away, some might say instantly, if a guy is going to play a part in my life.
I know instantly if I like him.

And here I knew it instantly. This is not it. I think he knew it too. There’s nothing wrong with it and its no one’s fault. It’s better to find out right away. We’re all looking for the spark and you can’t really feel if it’s there through text.
In some cases, yeah sure you can. You can tell if you’ll have fun on the date etc.
But that magical spark I’m talking about.
You have to meet.
Have to look them in the eyes.
Hear their voice.
Feel their personality.

Now, what do you do, when you both know it’s not there. Do you just excuse yourself and run off.
No. We’re far too polite to do that. So we do the flirty job interview. You may not actually be flirting, but it just means that you keep the conversation light and “sexy” enough so you’re both reminded that this indeed isn’t a job interview. That the purpose of this meeting was originally to end the day with a kiss. Not a handshake.

We walk and talk. Ask politely about his interest and family. All the while knowing you will never see this person again. Not because they’re not a nice person. Just because they didn’t fit the description you had in mind. The job description.

So what have I learned from this tame date. Not a lot to be honest. ‘Cause even if we had been texting for 3 weeks, this might still have happened.
Feelings are a funny thing. No one quite understands them.

So I’m just going to continue walking around, going on flirty job interviews until my wolf warrior comes along and sweeps me off the ground.

But I will be patient for faith has a great way of surprising us. And we love her for it.
I will be ready for that perfect love to hit me like the bus hit Georgina in Mean Girls.

Fast, hard and uncontrollably.

Because that’s what love is. A beautiful mess.

Much love Karoline

 

 

 

 

Poetry

Honest

29 august 2018

If I could be honest with you
I’d tell you I miss you
Tell you I wish we were back in each other’s arms
Everything was much easier back then
But admitting that to your face would be like admitting I regret the ending
But I don’t
We needed that time apart to find our true selves
Figure out who we are
Figure out who we wanted to be

If I had the courage I would tell you I miss you
Tell you I miss the sense of comfort and belonging that you gave to me

You were my first
First heartbreak
First love

If you were in front of me I would walk closer to you
Look into your eyes
The eyes I know so well
The eyes that make me weak

I would tell you I love you
Tell you I’d never let you go again
But this won’t happen
You are not here
And I am not brave enough
Just naive

Poetry

Love or loneliness

19 August 00:40

People always talk about love or lust
But what about love or loneliness
Do we ever just stay with someone just because we’re scared to be alone
For the comfort?

You know when it’s love
You know when you can’t stop feeling the sparks flying and the bobbles flowing

But what if it’s just not happening
Something is not right
But you stay with them because it’s better than not having someone there
Better than sleeping alone all those night

Comfort is a nice place but also a scary one
You quickly get used to it and it’s really hard to get out of

Suddenly you start mistaking comfort and safety with love

Suddenly you can’t picture your life without that someone next to you
simply because you like the warm breath on your neck

It could be anybody
It just happened to be you ’cause I got tired of looking
Got sick of the game before I made it till the end
So I stopped a halfway
and tricked myself into believing
I had won first prize

But I didn’t

Suddenly one day you wake up
and realize you stayed for all the wrong reasons

For the touch
the kind words
the attention
the eagerness
the accessory
the role

But it’s not him
You can’t fake love
You can’t fake real feelings

Lust is easy to fake
Comfort is hard to find

But love it forever and once you find it you’ll know it

– I don’t want to fall in love with comfort

Karoline's Blog

Pictures on Tinder

I have horrible taste in men. I’m just saying. As I sit here, wasting my time away by swipes my finger from side to side, I’ve started to notice a pattern.
We’re all the same.
We judge people based on 2-3 carefully chosen profile pictures and then have an idea what that person is like.
Gosh, it’s tiring.

But I might as well get something useful out of all the millions of hours I have spent thinking the next swipe will be the one.

So here are some typical Tinder pictures (for guys) and what they actually mean:

  • The baby picture

“I promise I don’t have a baby, but now you know I’m capable of holding one and isn’t that damn adorable. Doesn’t that make me more f***able?” Sure… Well done. But if I read ” not my baby” one more time I’m deleting the app (just kidding I need love in my life and this is the only one I can use in my bed, while eating icecream).
And if you do have a baby then please let me know before we go out, so I can put that into my specific love equation that lets me know if we belong together or not.

  • Surfboard
  1. Look at my hot body
  2. Look at my hot body holding this hot surfboard
  3. Imagine me surfing
  4. Are you imagining a hot Australian guy like Chris Hemsworth.
  5. Now close your eyes and think of him while we…

I mean… It’s cool. It’s hot. If you actually know how to work it and don’t fall off, I’m in.

  • Selfie

Please no. All I’m imagining is you, alone, in your room, trying 6 different poses to get that selfie just right… Nah

  • Animals

Here I want to highlight the grant amount of cute doggy and kitty pictures that float around Tinder and other social media love apps. It’s cute. Especially since you KNOW we will give you a like SIMPLY because it would be downright RUDE to turn down such an amazingly cute animal. I have no idea what the guy in the pictures looks like but GOSH you found a cute animal to take a picture with (because most of them aren’t yours anyway)

  • Jumping in front of cool travel spots

Wow, you travel. Welcome to 2018. Everybody’s been to Thailand. Go to the moon and I’ll be impressed. Or better yet go to Wisconsin (no offense to Wisconsin it just has a nice ring to the name and I’m not sure it’s a huge Instagram spot if it is I’m sorry).

  • Musical instruments

Aka. the guitar. Aka. wanna hear me play John Mayer? DO I???!? If you actually play the guitar (like the surfboard) that’s hot. If you’re trying to fake who you are, just don’t. I’ll find out sooner or later anyway.

  • The funny note

Finally! Some personality! I want to know who YOU are, not the Tinder robot you created while dreaming of all the hot girls this profile will get you. Be weird, be sassy, be ironic (again I have to warn you I do tend to have a weird taste in men so this may not apply to you all).

  • The “oh look I wear glasses sometimes” picture

“I can be hot. And sexy. And nerdy. Anything you want.” *****WARNING**** Major fetish reveal coming up… I love glasses. Those big nerdy hipster, spiderman, superman all man glasses. So please don’t think this is a bad thing. Also… you know once the glasses come off…

And last but not least. This is not a picture I know that but gosh. The importance and difference it makes must not to be forgotten…

  • The profile text

YAS! If you can write a good, original, funny, somewhat creepy in a charming way profile text then I am yours. All the previous judgments and assumptions I had about you before. POOF evaporates. Just like that. You must be a BLAST to hang out with and I will do my best to consider it before I after 15 minutes of swiping decide that love is hopeless and I should just buy a cat or a turtle.. Where was I? Oh yeah. If you can catch me in those 15 minutes of love and hope, WOW well done you!

So yeah. I guess that was it for me.
Now I can go back to stare at strangers I will never meet, but perhaps one day will marry. What a great world we live in.

Till next time.

Ps. I have no idea who that guy in the picture is. Is was the first thing to come up when I googled Tinder pictures. Sorry handsome but unknown fellow. This isn’t pointed at you I promise.

Poetry

Jazzy feeling

I loved you like I love an old jazz song

That cozy feeling of familiar is surrounding me

We sing and smile like we’ve felt this way forever

Nothing out of the ordinary

 

We fell apart like the sound of crashing waves

Beautiful from afar but threatening up close

We fall at times when we want to stand

I know this
for this is me

We summon the wrong things at the wrong time

I feel bad for you

For you will never get this again

Never feel my breath on your skin or my love in your heart

 

I smile remembering it all

I cry trying to forget it

– That jazzy feeling

Poetry

I love dancing with you

17 January 2018 00:26

I love dancing with you
Love how you twirl me around and make me feel like the entire world is about me

Your hands
Your eyes
Your smile
Everything turns me on

I love watching you dance
The joy you feel jumps to my heart and make me want to be with you
Be close you to
Belong to you

I love watching you come near me
Asking me for just one dance
Telling me I’m getting better
I’ll improve
You’ll behave

All this nonstop chatter and flirting is making me confused
For all I want is you by my side
Dancing all night long
You and I

But you keep dancing
Keep flashing that smile of yours
Was it ever mine to keep or just another one of your toys

I love dancing with you for I feel naked
I feel vulnerable
With no one else in sight
Just you and I lost in a trance

I love feeling your heart beat and anticipating your next move
Hopefully it will soon move to my heart
For it is your to take

Poetry

Meant to be

17 june 2018 8:53

It was meant to be

Written in the stars

that’s what they all say

Before those were just words in a sentence

Before that, was just sounds from a mouth

Suddenly I see the truth in them

Suddenly it seems as if it’s more than just a night

More than just a kiss

I saw you

Looked into your eyes all night

Talked about your family

Asked about my dreams

Our eyes grew tired as the sun came up

Our bodies fit together like a puzzle

No need to push

No need to adjust

It just said click

As I looked into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen

I started to wonder

Will I see them again

Will I be in those arms once more

I sat down on the bed watching you dress

Hoping it would be true

All the things we said

The promises we made

I hoped it would be a way for the universe to show me

That this was where I was meant to be