At my internship I got the honor of editing this video just 2 weeks after I had started. So proud of the result that I decided to translate it all into english and record the voice-over myself. Hope you like it!
At my internship I got the honor of editing this video just 2 weeks after I had started. So proud of the result that I decided to translate it all into english and record the voice-over myself. Hope you like it!
“Hvorfor snakket vi ikke om mig” af Flæs på Teatret Ved Sorte Hest er et af de mest ægte og spot on stykker jeg længe har set!
Med skuespillerne Mette Søndergaard Nielsen og Sofie Lund Kaufmanas som de eneste på scenen, fremstiller de vores virkelige jeg som satiriske karakter vi alle kan grine af og nikke genkendende til. De fortæller os sandheden om vores forfærdelige selvcentreret hverdag. Deres observationer sætter spørgsmålstegn ved hele vores væremåde i hverdagen og får en til at tænke en ekstra gang over vores opførsel!
Stykket har kun 2 skuespillere som gør det absolut vidunderligt! Det handler om vores generation eller bare vores hverdag og hvor meget lort vi egentlig lukker ud og hvor lidt vi tænker over konsekvenserne. Stykket fangede alle de rette elementer og var simpelhent spot on!
Vi lytter for at svare
Vi taler konstant for at få opmærksomhed.
Vi tænker slet ikke og lukker alt ud vi kan få lov til.
“Hej mor, kan jeg lide hummus? Giv mig et kald”
Et af deres sketchers går på den måde vi piger snakker til hinanden. “Er du stoppet i fitness?” “Har du fået et job endnu!” Vi spørger ikke længere ud fra interesse, men derimod for at se hvor meget bedre vi er end de andre. For at bekræfte, at vi har mere styr på livet end dem, er tyndere eller lykkeligere. Vi bruger ikke tid med vores venner fordi vi kan lide det, men derimod fordi vi føler vi burde. For hvis man er alene er man ensom. Det er sådan vi er opdraget.
Inden showet startede sad jeg og observerede publikum. Foran mig sad tre venner der ihærdigt forsøgte at tage det perfekte selfie til Instagram. Det gik tydeligvis ikke så godt for telefonen gik på tur for at finde den helt rigtige vinkel. I deres ivrighed efter at få billedet, var de ved at slå den udstrakte arm ind i menneskerne foran. “Mig mig mig”. Med et spejl konstant foran os, er det klar at det er alt vi ser.
“Hej mor, burde jeg lave spagetti i aften? Ring til mig!”
Vi griner af sandheden og genkendeligheden. Vi peger på vores venner og udråber “omg det er så meget dig HAHAHA”. Men er det ikke trist? At vi er blevet en generation der ikke kan se ud over vores egen næsetip. At vi ikke kan glæde andre mennesker uden at ville dele det til Gud og hver en mand. “Se jeg købte en gave til hende, se jeg passer mine brødre, se jeg har lavet mad.”
Jeg peger ikke fingre, for jeg er ikke en dag bedre. For her sidder jeg og skriver om MIN oplevelse og får mig selv til at fremstå utrolig kulturel og opmærksom. Næ nej. Jeg er et barn af den sorte selfie sky med Snap, Insta og Face. Holder altid alle opdateret på mig. Men hey hvorfor snakker vi nu om mig? Det skulle jo handle om stykket.
En af de bedste sketches var Facebook fødselsdagen. Vi kender det alle. Hilsenerne ruller ind hele dagen og så er det pludselig slut. 100 hilsener ud af 1300 venner! Hva’ f***??? Vi er ligeglade med andres fødselsdage. Indtil det er vores egen. “Hvordan kunne du glemme den! Du ved det er 3 dage før Sofies og 7 dage efter Peters!!”
Jeg vil ikke røbe hele showet her, men jeg håber virkelig det vil blive forlænget for jeg føler det er et must for alle at se dette show og nikke genkendende. Grine af de falske samtaler vi har og konkurrencer vi holder ubevidst med vores såkaldte venner. Alle de små ting vi siger for at få os selv til at se bedre ud foran andre. Vi kravler op på toppen af menneskerne for at få mest muligt lys på os og glemmer at kigge ned.
“Mig, mig, mig”.
Jeg tror ihvertfald at det har bekræftet min tanke om hvor vi er på vej hen. Og jeg bryder mig ikke om det. Læg mærke til hvor mange gange jeg nævnte migselv i de sætninger… skræmmende. Så måske burde vi prøve at tale med folk som i gamle dage og rent faktisk bryde os om vores venner og ikke bare have dem for at få et godt selfie til Insta. Vi har jo alle brug for en fotograf når vi står ved en flot udsigt….
Coming back to Copenhagen I noticed a big change! There’s tourists everywhere! Where did you all come from? As amazing as it is, I feel like you guys need a bit of help understanding and getting in contact with all those beautiful Danes you see in the streets. This list will help you with topics and information that is vital to really getting to know the Danes.
Here are some stuff Danish people love:
We all love to hate them. Do not trust a Danish person who says they like them! No way! That’s a secret and one you keep till your wedding day. “There’s something I haven’t told you… I actually really like Nik and Jay.” Marriage off!
But we know all the words to their songs and freak out when they play “Hot” in a club! So get ready to walk back and forth, up and down, for about 3 minutes while all the Danes scream at the top of their lungs.
2. Kay Bojesen monkey
Do you really have an apartment in Copenhagen, if there’s not a Kaj Bojesen monkey in the corner? The answer is no. There’s no living without it! This monkey costs 900 Dkr (140 US$), but it’s a must have for any Dane.
3. Complaining about the weather
It’s either too hot or too cold. We will never be satisfied. “Arg man, it’s too hot, now it’s raining, I’m cold, when will the sun come back?”.
Even if we’re not complaining, it’s still our favorite subject. Oh yeah, we have very interesting conversations.
But when the 3 days of summer is finally here, it’s magical. Everybody is out enjoying the sun. Run to a park and watch the beautiful Danes sipping wine, singing along to Rasmus Seebach and playing “Kongespil”. King’s Garden in Copenhagen is a perfect spot for this!
4. MGP songs
It’s the kids version of Eurovision. If you go to a gymnasium reunion (high school) or go clubbing in A-bar, there’s no doubt they will either play Razz or Seb with “Annie tro på os to”. It’s a classic.
Pretend like you know the words and prepare for a whole club screaming along to a very bad song. The nostalgia is too much for us Danes, and we will be reminded of our own unhappy teenage days. What’s not to love!
5. Student week
Gymnasium. It simply doesn’t get any better than that! After everybody graduates we have a week of celebration, where we get fucked up, wear silly hats and drive a truck while screaming (google it).
If you ask a Dane about their student week they will happily tell you all about how they; had sex with their ex, almost fell off the truck, went straight to Roskilde and didn’t have a voice for a week. If you have nothing to say to a Dane simply say this one word: “Studentervogn” and they will tell you stories for 2 hours straight. And voila, now they love you!
6. Hating the Swedes
Who even likes them? The Danes have a long history of hating the Swedes, and it definitely didn’t end yet. They stole our land, beat us in soccer and look like us. Urgg. The worst is when people think Denmark is the capital of Sweden. And they got all the coolest things like Ikea, mooses, ABBA and mountain. Jealous.
We don’t know why we hate them, we were just born that way. But we love the Norwegians. Not just because of Skam and Marcus and Martinus. They definitely helped, but Norwegians just have cooler accents and the guys are cuter.
We drink inside, outside, on our bikes, on bridges, on trains, in parks, on the sidewalk. You name the place, and a Dane has gotten drunk there. And I know what you’re thinking… We all love to drink. No no. Nobody drinks like the Danes. We have a high alcohol consumption and we are damn proud of it! We even have a special beer for each Christian holiday and treat J-day like a national holiday.
“HA HA HA, that was so funny”. Danes love humour, but only our own kind. “Klovn”, Alle for 3″ and “Anders Matthesen” is at the top of our list. You may not understand any of it, but just smile and laugh. It will all be over soon.
At times you may be a bit confused when a Dane is giving you a compliment in a strange voice. This is called sarcasm. He’s not really insulting you. Well, yeah he is, but he’s hiding it beneath a thick layer of sarcasm.
9. Prince Henri
Our very own french Prince Henri. We have a soft spot for this guy! A bit odd, writes poetry and has a weird fetish for people in animal costumes. Even though he’s lived here for 50 years, he still has a funny accent that nobody really understands. I guess we feel sort of bad for him, since he really wants to be king, but nobody will give him the damn crown. Poor guy.
10. Talking s*** about DR
“Do you hate paying license. ME TOO!” We all have to pay license for Denmark’s Radio, but according to everybody in Denmark, it should be banned, burned and spat on.
Nothing they make is apparently good enough and every time DR makes one little mistake the whole nation attacks. I think all Danes need to relax a bit, smile and watch “Bag Verden – Med Tobias”, because he is the sweetest guy, remember the fun times with “Monte Carlo” and listen to P3’s new joke program “LOL” (promise I’m not sponsored by those programs 😉 )
Hugge, håkke, høkge. The word on everybody’s mouth. And we do love it. Sitting in front of the fireplace, listening to Mads Langer, holding our loved ones hand and sipping chocolate milk. I bet you guys wish you had come up with a word for it before we did. Now you all have to come here to understand the meaning of it.
12. Roskilde Festival
ROSKILDEEEEE!!!! Enough said. The best music festival on earth (yes I am from Copenhagen, so I have to say this). Come rain, come sun, we will be there in the mud, getting wasted (ups, more drinking), listening to music we don’t know, waking up in unknown tents, getting married to Norwegian guys, puking, having beer for breakfast and attenting the Naked Run. If you haven’t tried it, go now!
13. Royal Copenhagen porcelain
Uhhhh so pretty. So expensive. So trendy. And BOOM we’re sold. This old fashioned porcelain is über modern and everybody has at least one cup for their instagram pictures. They may not use their porcelain very much, but they love looking at it and polishing it. So remember to compliment them on it, for they have been collecting the set since they were 16!
Let’s get to the good part. Danes love sex. That’s why you guys are visiting right? Well if it’s not, let me just explain. We love talking about sex, having sex, watching sex, writing about sex, having sex, fantasizing about sex, singing about sex. Yup I think I got it all. We have always been a very free and liberal country, and the whole image is pretty true. We have sex young, make commercials telling people to have more sex and love singing along to songs like “Tulips”. Ps. the song is not about tulips..
I think that’s just about has all the info you need to feel right at home here in Denmark. I hope you enjoy your stay and hopefully get a chance to try off your new Danish facts on some actual Danes! Enjoy!
When you travel you sometimes find yourself out of your comfort zone. And that’s exactly how it should be. Leave those worries behind and let yourself get loose and funky. Literally.
I’ve never really been one for dancing, at least not with a partner. I guess it must be this new wave of feminist girls, who simply cannot, for the life of them, let a man be in control. I can’t let go. I don’t trust him to be able to lead me the way I want to go. So I always end up twirling the guys around, like the true power girl I am. And let me just tell you.. I’ve got this one move that works every time. But that’s another story.
I visited Cuba in December 2016 and it was a party. My friend Adriana, from Switzerland, had been there previously, so she knew all the right places to go. One night she took me to a local salsa club and oh god…
We enter the club and everybody is an expert. There’s no doubt about it. This is not their first time. Even my friend was a natural. She had taken a few classes so she already knew the basics. Me on the other hand, had no idea what I was doing. So I stayed on my seat, smiling politely at all the people dances their asses off. Oh how I wished to be like them. Yes, I felt like Ariel, but that’s only because I always feel like a Disney Princess, but that’s beside the point. Suddenly.. A man came up to me and asked if I wanted to dance. I wanted so bad to say no, but seeing that I love a good story and a great adventure, there was no way I could say turn him down.
Round and round we went on the floor, Bambi on ice (last Disney reference I promise) and him twilling around like he had been born knowing the art of salsa. Which he probably had, for he was from Cuba. He taught me a few things and found me adorable as I stepped on his feet every other moment. When I finally learned a few steps, the music stopped for it was time for the big competition.
5 couples got on stage and had to compete to become the best salsa couple of the night. And guess who wins…. Obviously the guy I danced with. So not only did I suck, I was dancing with the best guy in the club. Oh god…. please make it stop.
He asked again if I wanted to dance, but I politely said NO! No way I was going back on that dance floor and make a fool of myself. As I sat there looking at all the smiling people, failing, trying and laughing while dancing to the beat, I felt envious. I had to join them once again. When the next guy asked, I had to say yes.
That is also the beauty of this sort of bar. People come to dance. No funny business or creppy thoughts. They are all so friendly and want to teach you how to dance. So throughout the night I danced with about 8-10 different guys. Again, that is normal here, and I had a guy at home so don’t get any funny thoughts please. It was all very innocent. With bodies close together, the sweat tripping down and the whispering in your ear…. I mean it’s Cuba after all, what did you expect 😉
I got lost in it! The music, the atmosphere, the people, the beautiful men everywhere I looked. I had even learned some new moves and gotten a bit braver after downing a beer. As the true dane I am, I was naturally wearing a fanny pack. The safest bag to wear while traveling. But not the best bag for swinging around in a heated salsa moment. So I gave in to my senses and gave up on my sensibility and left in on a chair. I know I know. HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE! Cuba, bag, salsa club…
Round and round we go and BANG… My bag is gone. Not a big plot twist I know, but that’s what happened. I knew it was the people I had been dancing with, for they had lured my friend away, so they could take it while I was staring helplessly into some guy’s eyes. Thank god there was nothing of importance in there. I only had cash, and my lip-balm.
The night was over before it had even started. Or that’s a lie, it was quite late and I was over salsa anyway. But seeing that I had screamed loud to anybody who would listen, that my bag had gotten stolen, some guy came running after me. “Wait miss, wait”. There in his hand was my bag! Wet, and without money, but fuck it! I got my lip-balm back and isn’t that the best ending to every story!
So the moral of this kids is… Go to Cuba and dance salsa, for it is both funny and silly. But do not leave your bag with a group of strangers who you only trust because they know how to shake it 🙂
We’ve all met them. They’re everywhere from Thailand to Miami, hiding, ready to strike and do whatever they do best. We love to hate them, love them or try our best to ignore them. These are the 15 types of people you meet when traveling:
“Yeah, like, I don’t really have a home anymore, I sort of just live everywhere”. Oh god… The hippie, too old to be staying at a hostel, who will never tell you where he is originally from. For does it really matter? At first you’re intrigued and slightly amazed of his stories. But soon after you can tell he just wants to brag about how many countries he’s been to and how he always “become one” with the locals. Sure…
2. The Instagrammer
This person will always create the best possible instagram-moment. They don’t care if any of it is true to the present. They will complain the whole way up the mountain, finally reach the top, take a picture and post it later with the tag #bestdayever #amazed #changedmylife. Expect to spend a lot of time waiting for them to pose at palm-trees with a silly straw hat and placing their food as neatly and cute as possible. Remember symmetri is key!
3. The Party type
“Uhh let’s get a beer!” This type is here to party and nothing is going to get in their way! It’s all about getting drunk and not remembering a thing. “It was a crazy night dude, I don’t remember a thing”. Will most likely always want to tell their crazy stories to their friends. The story is the same as normal except they get to start with this sentence “So this one time in Amsterdam, I got so hammered”. Angkor Wat is visited with a massive hangover, if visited at all. Remember, if you want to actually see stuff and experience something other than the bars, it’s important to be vary of traveling with this type. But they’re loads of fun on pub crawls!
4. The “Running from their lives” type
“So where are you going?”.
“Oh you know I’m just going where the wind takes me”.
This all sounds very exciting, but extremely vague. They are clearly running away from something at home. It may be a heartbreak, the future, an old job, family or friends. Who knows? And it’s none of your business. Let them get it all out and figure out their lives. It’s their choice and you just have to help them on their journey however best you can. Don’t confront them or ask them about the stuff they clearly don’t want to answer. Just let them tell you how “happy” they are in their new “life”. This type will most likely travel around for a year or two until they finally stop running.
5. The “Who am I” type
Hmm. I think we’ve all been here. This is great for a postbreakup getaway (the best kind of getaway), the hiking trip to the Camino or the hike from “Wild” with Reese Witherspoon. If this type has not read or seen “Into The Wild” or “Eat, Pray, Love”, then they don’t really know what it’s all about. You simply MUST write a memoir about your trip, learn a new language, find a new religion, fall in love with a local animal or child and have an affair with a foreigner. Wow doesn’t that sound like a bestseller!
But let me let you in on a secret. Once they’re home, the whole questions about “who they are” opens up again, so they must book a new plane ticket. It’s a beautiful evil circle. Join our clan 😉
6. The Backpacker
Flags on their bags from all the countries they’ve visited, has cool stories, is a generally cool person, always stays in dormrooms at hostels or in own tent/hammock, gives good travel advice and knows how to talk to locals and tourists. Yes, I am a big fan of this type so no bashing here. They’re just soooo cool… Come on. Who wouldn’t love to be a real backpacker, walking relaxed and proud, with their entire lives on their back. Even though they only have 3 t-shirts and 5 pairs of underwear, they don’t smell? HOW DO THEY DO IT?!? Arg man. Keep it coming. They travel for them and do whatever they please, because they want to. Simply beautiful.
7. The New Backpacker
Faker.. Faker, faker, faker. You can clearly tell these apart from an actual backpacker. Their backpack looks new and shiny, there’s no flags on it yet (for 3 flags doesn’t look quite as impressive as 28) and they always seem to tell stories from the same 3 countries. They love sentences like “So I was in Guatamala, with this Irish guy” simply to be able to say those two words. Guatamala and Irish. They want to seem international and well traveled, but you need to earn those titles.
Don’t worry, you might turn out to be a cool person one day. But for now try not to travel for other people and for the image. Do it for you. Nobody cares if you met a few people from Europe. Do it for you. I can’t say this enough.
8. The Equipment type
The new backpacker may also fall under this category. There is an weird agreement upon people in the west, that you can’t go traveling without the “right kind of equipment”. That means your dad’s old backpack is a no go! A old sleeping bag. How dare you. Listen. This is what you need to fit into the cool crowd of the travelers:
9. The Volunteer Work type
You’ve seen the pictures. An extremely white person surrounded by 10-15 adorable black kids. Ahh it just melts my heart. Hmm, not really. They love to tell you all about how they helped make this world a better place, just like Michael Jackson told them to. But did they really? Mostly I just see pictures of them tanning and freaking out about the toilet situation. But hey, it was a life-changing experience, and if their happy, I’m happy. But don’t tell me you did it for the kids? You did it for your resumé and to give yourself some edge…
10. The Guidebook
“Uhh look a church” click, click, click. “This church was build in 1856 by King Alexander, who gave it to his donkey bla bla bla.”
Never wanting to look up from the guidebook to actually see the attractions for themselves, it’s more important to check off their To-Do-List than actually enjoying their trip. “Did you see Sacre Coeur?”
“You bet ya we did. We got a private tour, and did you know that it is Jean D’arc in front of it”. This type doesn’t do anything half-hearted. It’s all the way or no way! So expect to walk from 9-19 and see every possible museum, park, church, castle or statue!
11. The Tourist
You will most likely find this type on the famous City Sightseeing busses. Easy and to the point. You don’t have to do a simple thing or even think for yourself. This is the easy version if you’re not traveling with a guidebook type, who can drag you through town with a nonstop flow of facts. In the bus, there’s a guide who just tells you the essentials so you can go home and tell your parents that is was indeed Gaudi who designed La Sagrada Familia. Non as throughout as the guidebook, but it does the job.
12. The Tanner
“Uhh sun, let’s go tanning”. They don’t care which country they’re in, as long as there’s sun and a pool or some sort of water. Not to swim in, you silly. No, no. Water attracts sun, thus makes you more tan! And let’s face it. If you come home whiter than before, were you really on vacation at all? Their best story is when they fainted from tanning too much. Worth it! Look at that tan-line…
13. The Go-Pro’er
“Hey guys, are we having fun wuhuuu”. Always holding a penis extension for their Go-Pro, they are ready to film every waken moment. They will never ever use this footage for anything, but it makes them look pretty cool. “And look, it even films in 4K”. Wow. That will be great for when they need to show their amazing footage in a cinema… Come on. If you’re not gonna use it, just stop.
14. The Food Lover
There’s always that one person who want to eat at every single moment. It’s fun for you as well, for they will try all the new cuisine, you’re too scared to try. “A scorpion? Sure! Dog. Bring it on!” I mean, it may be gross, but let them do their thing. We all travel for different reasons. If they want to spend their money at the most expensive Michelin restaurants, be my guest.
15. The Group
Most likely their first time away from home, around 18-20 years old, these people are here for a good time. They don’t really know what’s happening, for they have an adult to transport them from one place to another other. If they’re from the same country, it’s certain that they are bonding over old childhood songs (in Denmark MGP) and singing along to “I’ll make a man out of you (Rigtige mænd)” from Mulan.
They don’t really notice anybody but their group, but they will have great stories that no-one outside the group will understand or laugh at.
There’s a big black guy in front of me, with the widest smile I have ever seen.
“You from Denmark?” he asks with excitement in his voice. He is holding my pink drivers-license, making sure I am old enough to enter this holy place of parties.
“Yes I am,” I say, matching his wide smile.
“That’s cool. Enjoy the party,” the bouncer says, while showing me the way in with his arm. I can barely hold in my enthusiasm as I walk past him.
“Bye, thank you, have a lovely night,” I shout after him. My friends look concerned at me.
“Are you okay Clara?” Adam asks. He is wearing sunglasses, shorts and a Hawaii shirt, fitting in naturally with this crowd.
“Yeah, I’m wonderful, just wonderful!” I say, and as the words cross my lips, I realize how true they are. I do feel wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! I guess the thing finally kicked in. I know I should be scared, but this feeling has taken over me and made all my worries disappear. I feel fearless, fabulous and fast. My shoes are as tall as towers and my dress as flowery as a field in Florence.
“Come on, let’s get something to drink,” Adam says. I walk with him and our friend Natalie towards to bar. Natalie is talking lively with the bartenders. I wonder if she is feeling it too. She must be, but I don’t wonder about it for long, because now I’m getting lost in my busy train of thoughts. My mouth feels jerky and weird. I try to open it, move it side-to-side and close it again. Adam notices my strange movement and hands me something.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a gum. It will help you with your mouth issue,” he says and pops one in his own mouth. I trust Adam, so I accept this little piece of gum. The chewy sensation that hits my senses is almost too much. Gum has never tasked this good. I smack and smash as it moves from one tooth to another.
“Thank you, this is amazing.” I say and then stop myself. “Amazing…” I stop again, feeling a wondering frown move across my face.
“What’s wrong?” Adam asks, clearly not understanding the trouble.
“I sound like a bitch!” I exclaim in the same strange accent.
“No you don’t. You sound just the same,” Adam says, his attention elsewhere now.
“Oh god I sound so American. Like such a bitch.” I say, mostly to myself to hear the words exit my mouth. My tongue is moving in a different direction than normally and it fascinates me. But then a new sensation creeps in. A beat has reached my ear. The sound moves all the way through my body, from my fingertips to my toes. I’m having a hard time standing still, for the waves are crashing full speed towards me.
“Can we go dance?” I almost shout at Adam and Natalie. They clearly feel the same desire as me but something is drawing them closer first.
“Yeah course, but we have to smoke first.” Adam tells me in a parenting tone.
“Arg man really? But I want to go now!” I whine. I know that I sound like a complaining baby, but I can’t stop it.
As we walk towards the smoking area, near the fence, I am having a hard time trying not sneaking in little dance moves. I walk, proud like a lioness, ready to mate. No specific facial features are noticed, only colors and emotions enter my brain. My head is bouncing as we finally reach the fence. We each have a drink in our hands. I barely remember buying a drink. I only remember the cold feeling that goes through my body as I sip it. Adam and Natalie are smoking and talking, but I don’t feel like doing either. I just want to dance. I can hardly wait any longer.
“I’m going over there to dance,” I say to them as I walk towards the crowd. I don’t want to get lost from my protectors, so I stay within eyesight. Everybody is moving to his or her own rhythm, laughing and smiling, enjoying this lovely evening. I join their happiness circle. Feeding off this sensation, I start to sway my body, feeling my senses take over. I close my eyes and allow my brain to take a nap. Not caring about a single thing, person or thought feels amazing.
Adam and Natalie joins me shortly after, and I smile because they smile. I see Adam go up and down and up again, never stopping. I try to do the same, but my heels are much too high and I do not want to kill this vibe. So I just keep swaying slowly. He laughs and throws his head back in joy.
I feel five fingers closing in on mine, making me feel safe and warm. With no cares or worries in sight, I open my eyes once again. I smile at Adam and Natalie, feeling truly blessed that they are here with me. Here at this wondrous night, full of joy, emotions and delight. I look up to the sky and smile. It will all be over tomorrow.