Today I realized a thing.
The only reason I don’t feel happy is because I won’t let myself feel happy.
The only reason I feel lonely is because I choose to be alone.
The only reason I feel single is because I keep telling everybody that I’m single.
That I hate it.
Which is not true. It’s quite fun. I quite enjoy the freedom. The random nights. The hot, awkward, romantic, sexy and awful kisses. Each one is a story I treasure. A time I will miss some day in the future when I can no longer run around and kiss strangers.
Today I learned that if I wish to be happy I simply have to tell myself to be happy. Because I am. I’ve just hid it under a negative layer of hatred and complaints because i thought that was more interesting. Because people told me I was too positive. But what is that? Too positive. That’s a great thing.
So if you don’t mind.
I’m going to strip those negative layers off.
One annoying thought at a time:
I work too much – yes, but only cause you like your job
I never get anything done – no, because you stare into your phone all day
I will never find a boyfriend – maybe you should go on a date
I am so lonely – no, you never answer your friend or accept their invitations
I will die alone – you isolate yourself out of boredom
Today I learned a lot.
I learned how to grow and move on.
I learned how to stop the negative stream of thought.
I’m quite excited about tomorrow.
Some changes are good.
And I can’t wait for this one!