Karoline's Blog

How to be single

Today I read a great book. A book about being single and how it’s different in every country and culture. That even when you feel alone and lost you must realize that you are not.

This book not only made me cry and laugh, it also inspired me deeply. It gave me insight into the world and made me think about my own life and situation. .

Sometimes we need some perspective to see how great our lives actually are. Or a little push that tells you that whatever you’re dreaming of, actually can come true. You just have to believe in it enough.

I love the idea of writing about people. Interviewing them and figuring out what’s really going on in their quiet minds. Wondering if they feel the same way as me.

I have traveled a lot in my life and learned so much about cultures and people. Maybe it’s time I start to gather all these thoughts into a storyline just as like brilliantly as Liz Tuccillo did in her amazing book ‘How to be single’.

I loved the ups and downs of her characters, how everything seemed authentic yet perfectly plotted and how I absolutely devoted myself to her story. I devoured this book in no time and if you haven’t read it and you are, well, a woman of any age, then I highly suggest you do. Single or not, this books has great lessons to learn and grants you a new perspective on love and life.

Poetry

Feelings

Don’t get any feelings
I told myself as he caressed my hand

Don’t get any feeling
I told myself as we talked about the past
The ups and downs
The memories

Don’t get any feelings
He told me when I wanted to hold his hand
To feel him close to me like I did the night before

Don’t get any feelings
I thought as I laid in bed next to him
Feeling his warm breath on my neck
Thinking about yet another goodbye

Don’t get any feelings I mumbled when I got on the plane
Leaving you behind
Without any feelings

⁃ It didn’t work

Poetry

Infatuation

Do you ever get so infatuated with someone
That even their name turns you on

That even though you know
It will never happen
You can’t help trying
You know the outcome and
It doesn’t look good
But he does

What ever he does
Makes you flinch
Makes you fantasize about touching those fingers
One at the time
Kissing those lips
Soft at first
Then passionately

Saying your name out loud is a new found hobby of mine
I find odd pleasure in pretending I’m yours and you’re mine
Feeling each syllable leave my tongue and fall neatly off my open lips
The lips you close in on
Your eyes lock in mine
You smile and say
“Tell me what you’re thinking about”

You, I think
Always you
But I keep quiet
And simply say my favorite words

– I never knew a name could be my favorite word

Karoline's Blog

Sex and the city in 1999 vs. 2019

These last few days I have been binge-watching season 2 and 3 of the amazing show ‘Sex and The City’. Like every other single-twenty-something-girl, I look at their lives with amazement and hope.
Gosh, it looks like they have a lot of fun.
Gosh, I hope that is not my life in 10 years.

Don’t get me wrong. They are living their best lives. Having the time of their lives.
But to be honest, their lives sure does look like mine right now.

Old boy out, a new boy in, talking about boys, looking for ways to meet cute guys, complaining about boys etc. And as much fun as I’m having with all the boys talk, I’m also looking forward to the part where it will just be me and one boyish man happily ever after.

But I kept noticing little things that definitely changed from 1999 till 2019.
Here they are:

  • Home telephone vs. smartphone

Back in the 90’s cell phones hadn’t quite arrived yet. They were looming somewhere close by, but at the beginning of season 2, the only cell phones they have are the ones plugged into the wall of their house. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE RELIEF?

You’re out, when you’re out, you can’t check your phone every two minutes to see if he replied, you have to call, if you want to talk to people.

Wow. I really miss those times. It seems that the thing I mostly do wrong in a pre-relationship (when I’m crushing hard on someone) is to ruin it with my “phone-timing”. I should explain this made up term “phone timing”.

We all know, when we like someone timing is everything. We have to reply at the perfect time. Not too soon, not too late. As if we have a life, but a life we definitely want him to join.
And to conclude I do not indeed have this special phone timing. When he answers I run to the phone, or try to ignore him for 3 days. Either way, it’s not working for me

One more great thing about home telephones. Let’s not forget the fact that it’s so much easier, to hear how people actually feel, when you’re talking, versus trying to guess if that emoji means that he wants to fuck or if he wants to introduce you to his parents. Just saying.

  • Meet cute vs. tinder

It was raining outside when their eyes met across the street.
He walked slowly towards her without headphones, looking at her, not his smartphone. He smiled awkwardly and said something romantic like do you know where this street is, because he couldn’t “google maps” it. Then he asked for her number, not her Facebook, because he wanted to get to know her over dinner and not stalk her the whole night, then never contact her. It was love at first sight.

How romantic. But really.
I keep wondering HOW and WHERE the hell they meet all these attractive and frisky men.

But today I did a little experiment. I looked up while biking around Copenhagen. And they’re here as well. Just as single and frisky. Just as ready to go. But something changed in the last 20 years.

Headphones: We’re all too busy listening to Fleetwood Mac or a podcast, so approaching someone isn’t cute, it’s just creepy and quite frankly annoying.
Busy: We’re all too damn busy to sit down in a park with a book and just enjoy the day.
Bikes: In Copenhagen we’re all on bikes and it’s not like you’re going to yell after someone, that you think they’re hot, while they’re biking away. I guess you could bike into them and call it a meet-crash?
Trust: We didn’t read about creepy stalkers 24/7. In the 1990’s they might have believed people and their good intentions. But in 2019, we would be quite weirded out, if someone randomly asked us out on a Tuesday.

We wouldn’t recognize a meet-up if it ran into us on the street.

But let’s change that. Let’s start asking strangers out on dates, when we’re sober and standing in random places. Wouldn’t it be so retro and cute? I know you want to!

  • The clothes

Wait, forget about that.

The 90s are back in style 😉

  • Twenties vs. thirties

So what is the big difference between the SATC girls and me and my friends

Twenties:

  1. Still confused about life in general
  2. Not quite sure what you want to do with your life
  3. Still studying
  4. Looking for a steady job
  5. Looking for a place to stay
  6. Trying to decide where to live in this world.
  7. Still falls for stupid boys
  8. Looking for a new steady job because they got bored of the old one

 

Thirties:

  1. Sorta understands life
  2. Have a clear idea of what they want to do with their lives
  3. Might be finished studying
  4. Have a steady job that they like
  5. Have a great place to live and it looks like a home
  6. Know what they want to do in their life
  7. Still falls for stupid boys (somethings never really change)
  8. Continues at the job or gets a better one
  • Friendships

I truly envy the girls and their close friendship. The best part about it is that they only have three close friends and that they all hang out together. If I only had three friends I would be the best friend. Instead, I have 15 “close” friends, whom I try to know everything about and see two times a week. And even if you are not an expert in math, I can tell you that there simply isn’t enough hours and days of the week to make this possible. Sure, I know I should just “cut down”, on some friends. But how do you do that?

I don’t think I am the only one with this problem. People want to have more of everything. More clothes, five cars, twenty friends and three boyfriends, they can switch between whenever they feel like it.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I like that they share every moment of their lives with each other. They are family. They have each other’s backs even when they get into stupid s***. And I think that is the most beautiful relationship of the entire series. That’s the one we should really aim for.

That’s it.

Let me know if you thought of any other points I have missed.
Over and out xoxo

Poetry

Easy

It was so easy
The first date
The first kiss
It all flew past me as if it had all happened in another life

Meeting my friends
Staying over
Was this it
Is this how you fall in love
Without complications
Without issues

The first touch
The first time
Nothing out of the ordinary
Just you and I
As if we had always been
You and I

The toothbrush staying over
The socks on the floor

Is this love?
Is this what everybody is searching for
It feels too easy

Does love have to be hard for it to be worth it
Haven’t I spent enough time with troubled love stories
Enough time trying to figure out
What is going on

Then once I have it easy
I complain

Maybe the easy love is the best love
The one you should search for
Maybe I like the directness of this

Because if it’s real
It doesn’t matter if it came to you
In the hard way
Or the easy way

As long as it found it’s way to you

⁃ This feels good

Poetry

Chasing the unreachable

I like the idea of belonging to someone
Have someone to tell my secrets to
Share my worries

I have spent enough time
Chasing the unreachable
Every time I got close
They would move further away

It’s exciting
Exhilarating
And exhausting

So I’m done

With you, I feel comfortable
Close
Clean
As if all my previous mistakes have been washed away
For a new shiny slate

A new story just for me to fuck up

I hope I don’t
I truly hope I don’t let my thoughts and doubts
Get the best of me
They usually do

But wouldn’t it be nice
If just for once
I let someone be nice to me

I let someone treat me well

⁃ I want to deserve you

Blog, Karoline's Blog

What I want for Christmas and what it really means

Hi, everyone and happy early Christmas.
What a beautiful time we’re heading towards and let me just tell you. I can’t wait.

I’m always running late on handing over my wish-list so this year I thought I would fake my “adulthoodness” and finish it before 20th December.

I’m just going to warn you. I started this post off thinking it would be fun and cute. But it’s going to be pretty damn deep. Just warning you, so you can’t say at the end that I totally killed your buzz, cuz I most definitely will. And it will be honest. I’m not even sure if I’m confident enough to actually post it. But I mean I published a whole poetry collection with my deepest diary thoughts about love, so I don’t really think I have anything to hide anymore.

Stuff I want for Christmas:

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1 . A salt and pepper set

This is going to sound sorta sad. But I’ve had the same salt set (I broke the pepper) for 4 years. Ever since I moved away from home actually. I guess I never really thought about me not having a smart handy pepper for my guest. And I always thought my salt was cute and funny. Let me explain. My salt is an ugly ceramic thing I painted on when I was about 8. It has a sun, fish, and clouds on it. And trust me when I say this. I do not have any talents in the drawing area.

What this really means: Maybe it’s time to grow up. I am 24 years old, have a full-time job, but still choose to live like a student. Treat yourself and get a NICE set of salt and pepper. In reality, I’ll prob end up buying a cute panda hugging set, but you know. Small steps and all that!

2. Update to my CD collection

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I collect CDs and I’m proud of that. But is that the truth? I used to collect them and spend a LOT of money on it. Now it’s much easier just putting on Spotify and it’s free. But come on Karoline. It’s your passion. It’s their passion! You should support them(the artists). This may also have something to do with my laziness in trying to find new cool music. The truth is I’ve gotten old and grew and prefer to listen to the same 4 CDs on replay. BORING! Life is about trying new things and finding a new soundtrack to your life. Now go on!

What this really means: Don’t get stuck just because you’re getting older. Sure you know what you like now and have a twisted idea that life is supposed to get boring and full of routines. But who says that has to be true for you. And also buy the CDs otherwise your collection is a shitty one!

3. Personal cleaner and maid, who will fix my life and also make delicious food

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Hmm. That sure sounds nice. Can you imagine never having to clean up your own mess anymore? Not having to cook scrambled egg’s for the fifth time this week, but eat proper food and actually have a plan for the day. Well. I guess Santa can’t really help me with this. This is on me. So just do it. Put on your new CD and get to work. Learn how to make proper food, get into a habit of putting things in their spot right away and perhaps one day you don’t even need a maid.

What this really means: I’m sick of living like a homeless person. JK. No, but really. I need to “adult it up” again and start making smart choices. That means NOT having a bombed room 5/7 days and freaking out about my life. Wait that wasn’t even in there. Guess I just wanted to add it to the list. It might also just mean that I miss my mom.

4. Noah Centineo

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I guess this one is quite obvious. Have you seen him! Gorgeous. But in all seriousness. How many Christmas songs have been written about dreaming of a one night stand. Or fantasizing about the hot guy at the bar, whom you don’t remember the day after. The emotionally unavailable guy who texts you 1-3 times a week depending on his mood. The 45 poses and outfits to get that PERFECT Insta-post, just so he will remember you’re alive. Nope. It’s not all that it’s made out to be. I want the Michael Bublé, Mistletoe, Santa Tell Me -kinda love. The one where you know exactly what to get them for Christmas (not a perfume or cologne, but something so creepily cute and romantic all at the same time). And I wouldn’t mind if that someone happens to be Noah.

What this really means: Do I really have to explain it to you? It’s cold. I’m bored. I want someone whom I actually like, to sit next to me, hold my hand and watch Love Actually three times in a row. That’s the dream.

5. More money for heating

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This can be split into two. I want more money (aka. I want to spend less). I am FREEZING in my apartment. Not quite such a big metaphor but then again kinda. You can make everything into a metaphor. So… Money! Money on my mind. (Hi Sam Smith). I guess we all want this. But I want to find that HUGE black hole where all my money seems to vanish (probably the same place where all the guys I like are hiding). So I want to feel in control and understand my actions ect. ect. And maybe turn up the heating a bit.

What this really means: Stop spending your money on shitty crappy stuff that you don’t need or want. Also, monitor your purchases so you don’t end up feeling bad. Don’t avoid logging into your bank account. The money will be gone either way. Own up to your mistakes and do something about it.

I think that was it for now.

I’ll probably come up with much better wishes later, but here you go. Maybe you’ll get inspired by my great Christmas list!

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