We’ve all met them. They’re everywhere from Thailand to Miami, hiding, ready to strike and do whatever they do best. We love to hate them, love them or try our best to ignore them. These are the 15 types of people you meet when traveling:
- The “I’m a citizen of the world” type
“Yeah, like, I don’t really have a home anymore, I sort of just live everywhere”. Oh god… The hippie, too old to be staying at a hostel, who will never tell you where he is originally from. For does it really matter? At first you’re intrigued and slightly amazed of his stories. But soon after you can tell he just wants to brag about how many countries he’s been to and how he always “become one” with the locals. Sure…
2. The Instagrammer
This person will always create the best possible instagram-moment. They don’t care if any of it is true to the present. They will complain the whole way up the mountain, finally reach the top, take a picture and post it later with the tag #bestdayever #amazed #changedmylife. Expect to spend a lot of time waiting for them to pose at palm-trees with a silly straw hat and placing their food as neatly and cute as possible. Remember symmetri is key!
3. The Party type
“Uhh let’s get a beer!” This type is here to party and nothing is going to get in their way! It’s all about getting drunk and not remembering a thing. “It was a crazy night dude, I don’t remember a thing”. Will most likely always want to tell their crazy stories to their friends. The story is the same as normal except they get to start with this sentence “So this one time in Amsterdam, I got so hammered”. Angkor Wat is visited with a massive hangover, if visited at all. Remember, if you want to actually see stuff and experience something other than the bars, it’s important to be vary of traveling with this type. But they’re loads of fun on pub crawls!
4. The “Running from their lives” type
“So where are you going?”.
“Oh you know I’m just going where the wind takes me”.
This all sounds very exciting, but extremely vague. They are clearly running away from something at home. It may be a heartbreak, the future, an old job, family or friends. Who knows? And it’s none of your business. Let them get it all out and figure out their lives. It’s their choice and you just have to help them on their journey however best you can. Don’t confront them or ask them about the stuff they clearly don’t want to answer. Just let them tell you how “happy” they are in their new “life”. This type will most likely travel around for a year or two until they finally stop running.
5. The “Who am I” type
Hmm. I think we’ve all been here. This is great for a postbreakup getaway (the best kind of getaway), the hiking trip to the Camino or the hike from “Wild” with Reese Witherspoon. If this type has not read or seen “Into The Wild” or “Eat, Pray, Love”, then they don’t really know what it’s all about. You simply MUST write a memoir about your trip, learn a new language, find a new religion, fall in love with a local animal or child and have an affair with a foreigner. Wow doesn’t that sound like a bestseller!
But let me let you in on a secret. Once they’re home, the whole questions about “who they are” opens up again, so they must book a new plane ticket. It’s a beautiful evil circle. Join our clan 😉
6. The Backpacker
Flags on their bags from all the countries they’ve visited, has cool stories, is a generally cool person, always stays in dormrooms at hostels or in own tent/hammock, gives good travel advice and knows how to talk to locals and tourists. Yes, I am a big fan of this type so no bashing here. They’re just soooo cool… Come on. Who wouldn’t love to be a real backpacker, walking relaxed and proud, with their entire lives on their back. Even though they only have 3 t-shirts and 5 pairs of underwear, they don’t smell? HOW DO THEY DO IT?!? Arg man. Keep it coming. They travel for them and do whatever they please, because they want to. Simply beautiful.
7. The New Backpacker
Faker.. Faker, faker, faker. You can clearly tell these apart from an actual backpacker. Their backpack looks new and shiny, there’s no flags on it yet (for 3 flags doesn’t look quite as impressive as 28) and they always seem to tell stories from the same 3 countries. They love sentences like “So I was in Guatamala, with this Irish guy” simply to be able to say those two words. Guatamala and Irish. They want to seem international and well traveled, but you need to earn those titles.
Don’t worry, you might turn out to be a cool person one day. But for now try not to travel for other people and for the image. Do it for you. Nobody cares if you met a few people from Europe. Do it for you. I can’t say this enough.
8. The Equipment type
The new backpacker may also fall under this category. There is an weird agreement upon people in the west, that you can’t go traveling without the “right kind of equipment”. That means your dad’s old backpack is a no go! A old sleeping bag. How dare you. Listen. This is what you need to fit into the cool crowd of the travelers:
- A quick-dry towel (will make you seem adventurous, as you simply don’t have time to wait for the slow drying one)
- Sports wear from Patagonia. For you simply cannot go hiking without the right kind of windbreaker!
- Hiking boots hanging on the outside of your bag. This gives a good clue to the rest of the world how fit you are! Sure you will only use them once, but that’s not the point!
- Canon/Nikon camera around your neck. Gosh you can take amazing pictures on that. But you wouldn’t want anyone to steal it! So better leave it at home when you go to the beach, marked, hiking, temple etc. Your Iphone works just as well after all. Once you’re home you will really enjoy those 5 pictures you took on it though. I mean, it is shot in super high quality.
9. The Volunteer Work type
You’ve seen the pictures. An extremely white person surrounded by 10-15 adorable black kids. Ahh it just melts my heart. Hmm, not really. They love to tell you all about how they helped make this world a better place, just like Michael Jackson told them to. But did they really? Mostly I just see pictures of them tanning and freaking out about the toilet situation. But hey, it was a life-changing experience, and if their happy, I’m happy. But don’t tell me you did it for the kids? You did it for your resumé and to give yourself some edge…
10. The Guidebook
“Uhh look a church” click, click, click. “This church was build in 1856 by King Alexander, who gave it to his donkey bla bla bla.”
Never wanting to look up from the guidebook to actually see the attractions for themselves, it’s more important to check off their To-Do-List than actually enjoying their trip. “Did you see Sacre Coeur?”
“You bet ya we did. We got a private tour, and did you know that it is Jean D’arc in front of it”. This type doesn’t do anything half-hearted. It’s all the way or no way! So expect to walk from 9-19 and see every possible museum, park, church, castle or statue!
11. The Tourist
You will most likely find this type on the famous City Sightseeing busses. Easy and to the point. You don’t have to do a simple thing or even think for yourself. This is the easy version if you’re not traveling with a guidebook type, who can drag you through town with a nonstop flow of facts. In the bus, there’s a guide who just tells you the essentials so you can go home and tell your parents that is was indeed Gaudi who designed La Sagrada Familia. Non as throughout as the guidebook, but it does the job.
12. The Tanner
“Uhh sun, let’s go tanning”. They don’t care which country they’re in, as long as there’s sun and a pool or some sort of water. Not to swim in, you silly. No, no. Water attracts sun, thus makes you more tan! And let’s face it. If you come home whiter than before, were you really on vacation at all? Their best story is when they fainted from tanning too much. Worth it! Look at that tan-line…
13. The Go-Pro’er
“Hey guys, are we having fun wuhuuu”. Always holding a penis extension for their Go-Pro, they are ready to film every waken moment. They will never ever use this footage for anything, but it makes them look pretty cool. “And look, it even films in 4K”. Wow. That will be great for when they need to show their amazing footage in a cinema… Come on. If you’re not gonna use it, just stop.
14. The Food Lover
There’s always that one person who want to eat at every single moment. It’s fun for you as well, for they will try all the new cuisine, you’re too scared to try. “A scorpion? Sure! Dog. Bring it on!” I mean, it may be gross, but let them do their thing. We all travel for different reasons. If they want to spend their money at the most expensive Michelin restaurants, be my guest.
15. The Group
Most likely their first time away from home, around 18-20 years old, these people are here for a good time. They don’t really know what’s happening, for they have an adult to transport them from one place to another other. If they’re from the same country, it’s certain that they are bonding over old childhood songs (in Denmark MGP) and singing along to “I’ll make a man out of you (Rigtige mænd)” from Mulan.
They don’t really notice anybody but their group, but they will have great stories that no-one outside the group will understand or laugh at.