Poetry

Giggly

How can you make me feel so nervous

Like I’ve got nothing to say

Like all I say is silly

Giggly

And childish

I want to make you smile

Make you run away

And never look back

That way I won’t fall in love again

Won’t get disappointed

Won’t have my heart broken again

But what if I didn’t

What if I actually tried

And showed you the real me

Not the pink haired unicorn girly-girl

The vulnerable quiet insecure one

The one I rarely show the world

For it is easier to put on a show

Than allow others to hurt and judge you

Easier playing the fool

Than who we really are

For what if someone see you

And doesn’t like you

⁃ I really don’t want to fuck this up

Karoline's Blog, Poetry

Happiness

Today I realized a thing.

The only reason I don’t feel happy is because I won’t let myself feel happy.

The only reason I feel lonely is because I choose to be alone.

The only reason I feel single is because I keep telling everybody that I’m single.

That I hate it.

Which is not true. It’s quite fun. I quite enjoy the freedom. The random nights. The hot, awkward, romantic, sexy and awful kisses. Each one is a story I treasure. A time I will miss some day in the future when I can no longer run around and kiss strangers.

Today I learned that if I wish to be happy I simply have to tell myself to be happy. Because I am. I’ve just hid it under a negative layer of hatred and complaints because i thought that was more interesting. Because people told me I was too positive. But what is that? Too positive. That’s a great thing.

So if you don’t mind.

I’m going to strip those negative layers off.

One annoying thought at a time:

I work too much – yes, but only cause you like your job

I never get anything done – no, because you stare into your phone all day

I will never find a boyfriend – maybe you should go on a date

I am so lonely – no, you never answer your friend or accept their invitations

I will die alone – you isolate yourself out of boredom

Today I learned a lot.

I learned how to grow and move on.

I learned how to stop the negative stream of thought.

I’m quite excited about tomorrow.

Some changes are good.

And I can’t wait for this one!

Poetry

Nervous

I am so nervous
Feel it deep in my bones
What if they don’t like it
What if no one shows up

This was suppose to be a big moment for me
Suddenly it’s all about the practicalities
The quantity not quality
The business

I don’t even want to go
I’m not badass
I should be yelling from the rooftops
But find myself crawling into the corner

I don’t want to talk to anyone
Don’t want anyone to know

What was I thinking
Putting all these words into the world
Who is going to care
Who will read them
Appreciate them

⁃ Is it too late to give up?

Poetry

Marketing mess

Hi everybody.

Big news! I’m publishing my very own poetry collection on October 16th. It’s going to be huge for me and I can’t wait.

So lately I have been trying to use Instagram for marketing. I guess I just got kind of sick of it today. The whole selling and earning money aspect. I just wanted to write beautiful and honest poetry that might help someone some day. Do you ever feel like that. Anyway here is my poem about my thoughts of trying to figure out this whole marketing mess. Enjoy!

How do you stand out in a crowd of letters
How do you make them see you for who you really are

Not the cliché they will turn you into
Not for the uncertain laughs they will hand to you

I need to untangle from this marketing mess
Need to remember who I am doing this for
And the answer is me
Not them
Not you

I am helping me and only me by bringing these sentences to life
I rescue myself from the dreaded boredom
I don’t do it for fame
Money
Or acknowledgment
I just couldn’t stop it the words flowing
Running through my body

So I wrote them down
Now here I am
Showing you my best kept secrets
My inner thoughts
And you expect me to make a business out of it
You expect me to sell it like lemonade
I’m not sure I can do it
Not sure I was made for that

I guess I just wanted to share it with you
So here it is

⁃ Hope you’ll enjoy it

Poetry

Dear Facebook

Dear Facebook
Yes it’s me
I’m still alive.

No, I didn’t run away with a Japanese guy
No, I didn’t show you all the amazing things I saw in Japan
I didn’t even tell you I went to Japan

I let you all down
Made you worry
Some of you even called
to ask if I was okay?
If I had a good vacation?

If I’m being honest I just needed a break
I needed a break from being social
So I could actually be social
So I could join the real world

I know you are suppose to write
a big post about it
and tell you all the things
I hate about modern society
and our lack of social skills

But to be honest I was just tired

Tired of wasting my time and regretting it
Tired of thinking about what other people might think
Tired of living my life for someone else

So I didn’t
I just lived and smiled
It wasn’t groundbreaking or revolutionary
I didn’t do it to inspire or preach
I just did it because I felt like it

And when I feel like returning to the online social society
I will
Just like that

Poetry

Honest

29 august 2018

If I could be honest with you
I’d tell you I miss you
Tell you I wish we were back in each other’s arms
Everything was much easier back then
But admitting that to your face would be like admitting I regret the ending
But I don’t
We needed that time apart to find our true selves
Figure out who we are
Figure out who we wanted to be

If I had the courage I would tell you I miss you
Tell you I miss the sense of comfort and belonging that you gave to me

You were my first
First heartbreak
First love

If you were in front of me I would walk closer to you
Look into your eyes
The eyes I know so well
The eyes that make me weak

I would tell you I love you
Tell you I’d never let you go again
But this won’t happen
You are not here
And I am not brave enough
Just naive

Poetry

Twenty four

I guess I thought life would be different at twenty four
That I wouldn’t wake up with the smell of wine stuck between my teeth

That I would have gotten sick of kissing strangers
Sick of thinking of the same old love
Sick of regretting the same things

Twenty four seemed like the age I would have my life together
Would know my goals and aim for them
Clean my room and always take out the trash

Always wear high heels for birthdays
Always look my best
But I feel just like I did at nineteen
And twenty two

Feel confused and tired and tipsy
Horny but looking for love
Late but running for the train
The train to adulthood

I can still catch it if I just wear an unstained dress
If I just pick one solid guy and make myself fall for him
If I just choose one job career and pull through
even though I hate every minute of it

Then maybe I will someday reach that famous next level
Maybe then I won’t think twenty four is that bad
Maybe I will think back at it and smile.