Karoline's Blog

Demands for future lovers

When I was younger, finding a boyfriend was so easy.

He just had to be cute and popular. Make me laugh and like my friends.
Lately, it seems like a different story. As if there are too many factors and demands to think about. Too many checkboxes to check off before you will even consider dating that person.

Here are the new considerations I have when deciding if I like someone or not (which is also stupid seeing that you can’t choose who you like. It just happens. But when you’re single and bored this is what you do. Consider everyone you see or know)

  1. Last name. I never thought about this. But I obviously want my future husband to have a beautiful last name that goes well with my name as well. I can’t be called Karoline Kooler Karlsen or something weird like that. The initials just don’t really have a nice tone…
  2. Children. Does he want them? When does he want them? If he’s much older than me, he prob wants them waaay sooner than I. I’m “only” 24″ so still have a few years before I want to start considering that. But if he’s 30, I’d worry it’s on his mind NOW. But then again if he’s much younger I’d have to wait TOO long.. Gosh.
  3. Age. Which made me think of age. I want someone I can talk about my childhood with, but also want him to be mature and have an adult job. So a bit older than me.
  4. Job. Jobs weren’t even really a subject when we were younger. If he worked at the cinema it was a plus cuz then you could get free popcorn. Now it’s more complicated than that. I have a tendency to fall for creative types. Aka. unemployed boys. Not men. Not suit-owning, let me treat you, let’s go to Paris kind of guys. I don’t care if they’re crazy rich, that’s not it. But I want the freedom to be able to do what we want to do. I have my own money, and I want him to know how to handle his money as well. This seems like quite a big subject lately.
  5. Family. I love my family. I want my family to love my future husband. I want my future husband to love my family. I want us all to be ONE BIG FAMILY. You get me. Right?
  6. Timing. Gosh… If my best friend has a baby in two years, then I need to have a baby in two years cuz those kids have to either be best friends or get married. It’s all about timing. My kids have to play with my brother’s kids so we have to time that as well. I know we can’t choose when to fall in love and all that, but gosh wouldn’t that be nice.
  7. Hobbies. This is a hard one. Opposites attract and all that. But what if he likes pop and I like heavy metal (killing stereotypes and all that. It’s very inn in 2018). What if he wants to watch action movies and I love musicals. He hates traveling and I can’t breathe without it. Some things are just hard to choose and live without. We have to time them just right, so we like some of the same things, but aren’t the EXACT same person.
  8. Country. Where should we live? Where does he live? Where do we want to work? Should we move around? Stay grounded? Get bored? I don’t even know where I’m heading with this one. I guess I just have a slight feeling I’ll end up with someone from another country (really Karoline what makes you think that. Maybe the fact that you haven’t dated a Danish guy since you were 17).
  9. Way of life. Is he a morning person? Super fit and will blame me and my Nutella obsession (then I obviously won’t marry him but you get it). Is he cheap or does he spend all his money on stupid things? Will he force me to throw out all my CD’s….. Please don’t…!
  10. I guess the thing is. Will we fit well in the long run? Will we be able to make each other happy? Laugh every day. Be able to be good parents while still remembering to love each other. Be able to grow up and get wrinkly and still look into those eyes and think of that special day when we swiped right. Or locked eyes in the metro. Or bumped into each other drunk at a music festival.

I suppose all these thoughts keep running through my brain which makes the first date quite stressed. I know you can’t know till you know. That I don’t have to meet the one right now and I can just have fun and meet him when the time is right.

But am I the only one who has these thoughts. The only one who considers every single thing about a guy before I allow my heart to fall hard. For if it’s not right, not perfect, is it even worth it?
Yes. Yes, it is. Each person leads us closer to the right one.
Hopefully one day I’ll find someone whom I can check all the important boxes. Not in a perfect way. But in the way that’s perfect for us.

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

#adulting

Adulthood is a funny destination. You never truly know when you have arrive. What age you should be. If you have to come alone, with friends or just show up when you feel ready.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about adulthood. Running towards it. Running away from it. Not really sure how I feel about the term.

When I was younger, adulthood was at 23. When you had your life together, big apartment with your one truly love whom you could travel the world with before you got married and started popping out children.

Here in reality, my 24th birthday is creeping in on me and I’m nowhere near that dream. I was so afraid of getting older that I booked a flight to the “party central” city of Budapest. If I’m not home, it’s not really happening.

I suppose we can’t choose whether or not we grow up. I know plenty of “grownups” with kids and everything, who are by no means “adults”. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean we should all run about and praise Peter Pan. There’s some beauty to be held in adulthood. Some excitement to being referred to by this name (yes I just watched Call Me By Your Name, and it’s amazing).

Which is why I want to tell you about my experiences as a tween turned teen turned twenty something turned quarterlife crisis turned adulting turning adult.

We will go far together. We will cry. We will laugh. You will laugh and cry because you see my pain. You feel it too. We will all laugh because of how pathetic we are but it’s okay. We will drink wine and eat garlic bread. And maybe one day… we will grow up and spend our time more wisely than on writing this ….

But for now let’s just stay in this beautiful moment that is #adulting.

See you soon!

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

Hvorfor snakker vi ikke om mig?

“Hvorfor snakket vi ikke om mig” af Flæs på Teatret Ved Sorte Hest er et af de mest ægte og spot on stykker jeg længe har set!

Med skuespillerne Mette Søndergaard Nielsen og Sofie Lund Kaufmanas som de eneste på scenen, fremstiller de vores virkelige jeg som satiriske karakter vi alle kan grine af og nikke genkendende til. De fortæller os sandheden om vores forfærdelige selvcentreret hverdag. Deres observationer sætter spørgsmålstegn ved hele vores væremåde i hverdagen og får en til at tænke en ekstra gang over vores opførsel!

Stykket har kun 2 skuespillere som gør det absolut vidunderligt! Det handler om vores generation eller bare vores hverdag og hvor meget lort vi egentlig lukker ud og hvor lidt vi tænker over konsekvenserne. Stykket fangede alle de rette elementer og var simpelhent spot on!

Vi lytter for at svare
Vi taler konstant for at få opmærksomhed.
Vi tænker slet ikke og lukker alt ud vi kan få lov til.

“Hej mor, kan jeg lide hummus? Giv mig et kald”

Et af deres sketchers går på den måde vi piger snakker til hinanden. “Er du stoppet i fitness?” “Har du fået et job endnu!” Vi spørger ikke længere ud fra interesse, men derimod for at se hvor meget bedre vi er end de andre. For at bekræfte, at vi har mere styr på livet end dem, er tyndere eller lykkeligere. Vi bruger ikke tid med vores venner fordi vi kan lide det, men derimod fordi vi føler vi burde. For hvis man er alene er man ensom. Det er sådan vi er opdraget.

Inden showet startede sad jeg og observerede publikum. Foran mig sad tre venner der ihærdigt forsøgte at tage det perfekte selfie til Instagram. Det gik tydeligvis ikke så godt for telefonen gik på tur for at finde den helt rigtige vinkel. I deres ivrighed efter at få billedet, var de ved at slå den udstrakte arm ind i menneskerne foran. “Mig mig mig”. Med et spejl konstant foran os, er det klar at det er alt vi ser.

“Hej mor, burde jeg lave spagetti i aften? Ring til mig!”

Vi griner af sandheden og genkendeligheden. Vi peger på vores venner og udråber “omg det er så meget dig HAHAHA”. Men er det ikke trist? At vi er blevet en generation der ikke kan se ud over vores egen næsetip. At vi ikke kan glæde andre mennesker uden at ville dele det til Gud og hver en mand. “Se jeg købte en gave til hende, se jeg passer mine brødre, se jeg har lavet mad.”

Jeg peger ikke fingre, for jeg er ikke en dag bedre. For her sidder jeg og skriver om MIN oplevelse og får mig selv til at fremstå utrolig kulturel og opmærksom. Næ nej. Jeg er et barn af den sorte selfie sky med Snap, Insta og Face. Holder altid alle opdateret på mig. Men hey hvorfor snakker vi nu om mig? Det skulle jo handle om stykket.

En af de bedste sketches var Facebook fødselsdagen. Vi kender det alle. Hilsenerne ruller ind hele dagen og så er det pludselig slut. 100 hilsener ud af 1300 venner! Hva’ f***??? Vi er ligeglade med andres fødselsdage. Indtil det er vores egen. “Hvordan kunne du glemme den! Du ved det er 3 dage før Sofies og 7 dage efter Peters!!”

Jeg vil ikke røbe hele showet her, men jeg håber virkelig det vil blive forlænget for jeg føler det er et must for alle at se dette show og nikke genkendende. Grine af de falske samtaler vi har og konkurrencer vi holder ubevidst med vores såkaldte venner. Alle de små ting vi siger for at få os selv til at se bedre ud foran andre. Vi kravler op på toppen af menneskerne for at få mest muligt lys på os og glemmer at kigge ned.

“Mig, mig, mig”.

Jeg tror ihvertfald at det har bekræftet min tanke om hvor vi er på vej hen. Og jeg bryder mig ikke om det. Læg mærke til hvor mange gange jeg nævnte migselv i de sætninger… skræmmende. Så måske burde vi prøve at tale med folk som i gamle dage og rent faktisk bryde os om vores venner og ikke bare have dem for at få et godt selfie til Insta. Vi har jo alle brug for en fotograf når vi står ved en flot udsigt….

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

I need a scratch map of the countries I’ve kissed

I have a things for foreigners. It’s a thing. It’s a fact. Let’s not dwell on it and start calling each other names. I know I’m not the only one. I just really don’t see what’s so special or fun about being with someone from your own country. I mean, they look like you, grew up like yo and know the same cultural references and traditions as you.

Nah, not for me. I like a little action. A bit excitement. Someone who can surprise me and say stuff like: “No we don’t use Christmas trees for Christmas haha. We use this plant.” See, that would be fun! I could learn something new about the world and broaden my horizon.

I absolutely love talking about Denmark. Everybody who’s met me while I’m abroad would know this. And deep down I think people like to hear about our silly popstars and weird food fetishes. Maybe they don’t, but I love telling them about it anyway. And I get so fascinated to hear someone else talk with such passion about their home country. So why shouldn’t I find someone to tell me about it.

So what is it about these foreigners lips that draw me closer to them each and every time. Is it the accent? The language? The looks? Who knows.

If we’re being really honest, it might just be because they’re far away and I know it won’t last for long. That way I can’t get my heart broken… Just kidding. It will happen either way.  It might even be worse this way.
Side note: A positive thing is that you’ll never bump into him while drunk or on your way home from the gym, because he’s so far away. And isn’t that a great thing!

I know I’ll end up with someone from another country. It’s going to be difficult and stupid but I have a feeling that’s how it’ll be. And I can’t do anything about it.

 

 

 

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

Clubbing frees your soul

Going into the place, I had forgotten what I was getting into. Where I was going. The bouncers lifts the velvet string that gives me acces to the wonder of this place.

I hand over my jacket to the 18 year old cloak-check girl, wondering how many of the bartenders she has kissed. The music is bouncing from the other room, readying me for the purpose of the night. I look down my dress. A simple high necked flower dress and high plump heels. The kind of clothes, I would wear on a monday, but the heavy load of make-up, makes viewers sure it’s the weekend. My eyelids feel heavy with the 5 layers of black mascara, put on to impress the men in the room.

The doors open up and I walk confidently like a gazelle into the zoo we call a nightclub.  My eyes flicker from side to side. I am the princess, he is the prince. Only here are no princes, only loud music and smoke making my eyes cry. There is no sincerity, only shouting words and cheap drinks. We all walk naked with clothes on, trying to steal someones attention, if only for a few hours. We’re all pretending to be something we’re not. Single, a smoker, a dancer, adventurous. We’re all trying on a life, that doesn’t quite fit, but we have to squeeze into it anyway.

I’ve seen this. Believed it. Loved it. Lived it. I was them. My eyes were closed as I kissed a new victim of my empty stare, name to be forgotten in the morning or never heard. Never cared about it, just did it, because it’s part of our normality in this society of alcoholics and social animals. We love to pretend and fake and repeat weekend after weekend.

Is it really that bad? Are we really so miserable. No. We’re numb. We numb ourselves with vodka shots, so we forget the pain we feel deep down. Heartbreak, lonesome, caught in a moment, unhappy. We’re all trying to tell ourselves we’re fine. We all feel free and happy while dancing to the top 20 charts till 4 am.
In the morning we know what we are. We know how we truly feel. But gosh, it just feels so great at that moment in time. That moment when we shake our heads to the rhythm in time with our heartbeats, reminding us we’re alive and happy. Those times when we lock eyes with something real and start to believe again. When we are moved by emotions or actions, that has nothing to do with this moment.

Clubbing is terrible and great. It’s amazing.

You just have to close your eyes and numb your brain.

 

 

 

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

Why do we always chase anything BUT our dreams

As I’m thinking about what I want to do with my life, I always seem to think of smart ways to get there, instead of just getting there.

“If I want to write a book, I must first be a presenter to get a following”.
– Says who???

While you’re chasing the wrong dream, you’re getting further away from the actual one. Why do we always think it’s a good idea to distract ourselves from our dreams and think they will be there later on. One day they will give up on you, if you don’t hang on to them. Give them attention, love and determination. They need to know they matter to you, otherwise why would you matter to them?

A classic thing is that we postpone it. Or believe we will achieve it somehow. “I don’t need to write, to be a writer” – Said no-one ever.

You have to feel deep down in your gut, if you feel good when you’re doing the thing you “want to do”. Otherwise what is the point. There’s no happiness in pursuing a tennis career if you hate tennis.

So why do we always avoid it. Or worse run away from our dreams.. What happens if we don’t achieve them? If someone else gets there before you? Or if you end up going in a completely different direction. Nothing. Nothing happens. But wouldn’t you rather live knowing that you tried, that you gave it your all?

I am not scared of a lot in this life. But I am super scared of telling people what I actually dream of. It’s much easier coming up with a lie. That way they won’t know you failed, cause they didn’t know your real dream. But let’s for a moment try to concentrate on you. Forget the outside world and what they think of you.

You’re too scared to try because you’re afraid to fail. It’s as simple as that. Not rocketscience. You would rather have succes in something than succes in nothing.

But maybe.. Just maybe. If you spend less time trying to achieve things you don’t want, or spend time on useless dreams, and actually go for the one. You just might make it!

So stop hiding in the shadows and go all in. Be you, or the “you”, you want to be. Be the person you deep down know you can be.

Karoline's Blog, Written Words

Instagram your way through life

On my journey of figuring out who the heck I am, or who I am going to be, I decided to give Instagram a go. Instagram has found a way into everybody’s hearts in the last 7 years since its start in 2010. It continues to amaze me, how many people have found careers through an mobile app. Amaze me and inspire me. As I was trying to figure out how to start a following, I immediately thought of Instagram!

If you want to show off you work and personality, this is a perfect site for it. But you have to be up for the tasks at hand. I naively thought this would be a walk in the park, but I quickly understood I was wrong. As I started my new business profile Capturedbykaroline, I had to make some choices.

  • What kind of profile is this?
  • Should I mix business with pleasure?
  • Is this only going to be travel photographs?

As overwhelming all of this seemed, I decided to just go for it. See where it takes me and not plan it all out. I found 30 of my best shots from various travels and started posting one a day. Nothing big happened the first week. I was not going to give up though.

When Nate World (Nathan Buchan) and his girlfriend Hannah, offered a free lecture on Travel blogging, I immediately signed up! They said a lot of useful stuff and I felt so inspired and motivated after the lecture. I started yet another website on Wix, posted a sunset picture on Instagram and started to follow travel bloggers, to get more inspiration.

You are not going to believe what happened next. Okay it’s not that crazy, but I was pretty excited! I got 100 followers in 1 day. I was over the moon and had no clue what to do about it. So I ran to Urban Outfitter and bought a book that had all the answers. It’s called “Read this if you want to be instagram famous”. In this book, 50 of the biggest instagrammers gives you advise on how to make your profile popular.

I’ve never been an expert on Instagram. I’ve heard about the whole Follow4Follow and Like4Like things, but didn’t really believe that whole thing. I would soon learn the fakeness of it all.

At the end of the day I had reached 115 followers. I was estatic. I did everything the book said. Like their pictures, follow them back and give them nice comments. But you don’t know the rules of the game, till you’re out.

A few days later my following count was down to 75, then 60. 

People like and follow, but only for a minute or two. I started to realize, how much energy and time I would have to put into this, if I wanted to become big. How much lying and manipulating was involved.

I didn’t like it. I would rather have 3 nice followers, than 1000 fake ones. That’s why, now I just do it for me. Just because I like posting and want to stay involved. I haven’t given up on my dream, I just don’t want to get it like that. I doubt that getting 12000 followers, will make me any happier.

What do you think?