Poetry

Twenty four

I guess I thought life would be different at twenty four
That I wouldn’t wake up with the smell of wine stuck between my teeth

That I would have gotten sick of kissing strangers
Sick of thinking of the same old love
Sick of regretting the same things

Twenty four seemed like the age I would have my life together
Would know my goals and aim for them
Clean my room and always take out the trash

Always wear high heels for birthdays
Always look my best
But I feel just like I did at nineteen
And twenty two

Feel confused and tired and tipsy
Horny but looking for love
Late but running for the train
The train to adulthood

I can still catch it if I just wear an unstained dress
If I just pick one solid guy and make myself fall for him
If I just choose one job career and pull through
even though I hate every minute of it

Then maybe I will someday reach that famous next level
Maybe then I won’t think twenty four is that bad
Maybe I will think back at it and smile.

Poetry

Love or loneliness

19 August 00:40

People always talk about love or lust
But what about love or loneliness
Do we ever just stay with someone just because we’re scared to be alone
For the comfort?

You know when it’s love
You know when you can’t stop feeling the sparks flying and the bobbles flowing

But what if it’s just not happening
Something is not right
But you stay with them because it’s better than not having someone there
Better than sleeping alone all those night

Comfort is a nice place but also a scary one
You quickly get used to it and it’s really hard to get out of

Suddenly you start mistaking comfort and safety with love

Suddenly you can’t picture your life without that someone next to you
simply because you like the warm breath on your neck

It could be anybody
It just happened to be you ’cause I got tired of looking
Got sick of the game before I made it till the end
So I stopped a halfway
and tricked myself into believing
I had won first prize

But I didn’t

Suddenly one day you wake up
and realize you stayed for all the wrong reasons

For the touch
the kind words
the attention
the eagerness
the accessory
the role

But it’s not him
You can’t fake love
You can’t fake real feelings

Lust is easy to fake
Comfort is hard to find

But love it forever and once you find it you’ll know it

– I don’t want to fall in love with comfort