Karoline's Blog, Written Words

#adulting

Adulthood is a funny destination. You never truly know when you have arrive. What age you should be. If you have to come alone, with friends or just show up when you feel ready.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about adulthood. Running towards it. Running away from it. Not really sure how I feel about the term.

When I was younger, adulthood was at 23. When you had your life together, big apartment with your one truly love whom you could travel the world with before you got married and started popping out children.

Here in reality, my 24th birthday is creeping in on me and I’m nowhere near that dream. I was so afraid of getting older that I booked a flight to the “party central” city of Budapest. If I’m not home, it’s not really happening.

I suppose we can’t choose whether or not we grow up. I know plenty of “grownups” with kids and everything, who are by no means “adults”. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean we should all run about and praise Peter Pan. There’s some beauty to be held in adulthood. Some excitement to being referred to by this name (yes I just watched Call Me By Your Name, and it’s amazing).

Which is why I want to tell you about my experiences as a tween turned teen turned twenty something turned quarterlife crisis turned adulting turning adult.

We will go far together. We will cry. We will laugh. You will laugh and cry because you see my pain. You feel it too. We will all laugh because of how pathetic we are but it’s okay. We will drink wine and eat garlic bread. And maybe one day… we will grow up and spend our time more wisely than on writing this ….

But for now let’s just stay in this beautiful moment that is #adulting.

See you soon!

Poetry, Written Words

In love with a feeling

I think I was in love with the feeling

The passion

The lust

I liked worrying about someone else

Wondering about them

And spending all my energy on their needs

Sometimes that all we need

An idea

A feeling that reminds you

Reminds you why you hated that feeling

Loved it to pieces

Allowed it to break you apart

I’d do anything for that feeling

Being alive

Blood running through your veins

I’m not sure what is worse

Having it

Or missing the absent of it

But next time I’ll be ready

I’ll welcome it back with open arms

Because then I know I’m alive

And I’m feeling good