Being wanderlust is a wonderful feeling. Except when it's not! When you're constantly planning your next get away, never truly settling down or touching the ground, then it can be hard.
I grew up with traveling. My parents would often drag me out of school for a month or two just so we could go explore the world. And what a world! I learned quickly that there was too much to see in a lifetime. So it became my duty and mission to visit it all! I couldn't wait.
When I turned 16 I started traveling to different countries alone. Always searching a new high, a new view or a new culture became an addiction and I could never get enough.
I would be thinking about my next vacation while still being in on. Looking at the Coliseum and dreaming of Manchu Picchu. Thinking there must be better things out there. Bigger!
I wanted to know it all and see it all!
But traveling can become a problem as well. As soon as I learned that traveling could be used as an excuse I went all in.
Everything could be excused for a vacation. I would be dating a guy, but always holding a bit back because I knew a trip to Vietnam was around the corner. I would skip school and say I learned way more English by drinking in Irish pubs than I would in class. I would tell my teachers it was relevant and that it was my job.
What a beautiful excuse. The best one. It's my job.
The one thing we all want to use as our excuse. "I have to do it".
But always running off to a new place and never really getting to know the people can be hard too. You never truly feel at home and the excitement that once filled your body is now just a longing to tell your friends "yeah I've been there".
Nobody want to hear my stories anymore. Nobody reacts when I tell them I'm going to Napoli to live with a strange guy and his family. They've heard it all before. Seen my pictures.
But I don't do it for them. I wish I did for then I could stop now. But it's like a never ending train with no stops. It's just going and going and sometimes I'm unsure where on this earth I am.
France? Estonia? Australia? Who knows?
So will this craze ever stop. Will I ever want to settle down and stay in one place for more than 5 months… will I ever feel at home?
I don't have the answer? Maybe I can find it in Nepal… 😉