Coming back to Copenhagen I noticed a big change! There’s tourists everywhere! Where did you all come from? As amazing as it is, I feel like you guys need a bit of help understanding and getting in contact with all those beautiful Danes you see in the streets. This list will help you with topics and information that is vital to really getting to know the Danes.
Here are some stuff Danish people love:
- Nik and Jay
We all love to hate them. Do not trust a Danish person who says they like them! No way! That’s a secret and one you keep till your wedding day. “There’s something I haven’t told you… I actually really like Nik and Jay.” Marriage off!
But we know all the words to their songs and freak out when they play “Hot” in a club! So get ready to walk back and forth, up and down, for about 3 minutes while all the Danes scream at the top of their lungs.
2. Kay Bojesen monkey
Do you really have an apartment in Copenhagen, if there’s not a Kaj Bojesen monkey in the corner? The answer is no. There’s no living without it! This monkey costs 900 Dkr (140 US$), but it’s a must have for any Dane.
3. Complaining about the weather
It’s either too hot or too cold. We will never be satisfied. “Arg man, it’s too hot, now it’s raining, I’m cold, when will the sun come back?”.
Even if we’re not complaining, it’s still our favorite subject. Oh yeah, we have very interesting conversations.
But when the 3 days of summer is finally here, it’s magical. Everybody is out enjoying the sun. Run to a park and watch the beautiful Danes sipping wine, singing along to Rasmus Seebach and playing “Kongespil”. King’s Garden in Copenhagen is a perfect spot for this!
4. MGP songs
It’s the kids version of Eurovision. If you go to a gymnasium reunion (high school) or go clubbing in A-bar, there’s no doubt they will either play Razz or Seb with “Annie tro på os to”. It’s a classic.
Pretend like you know the words and prepare for a whole club screaming along to a very bad song. The nostalgia is too much for us Danes, and we will be reminded of our own unhappy teenage days. What’s not to love!
5. Student week
Gymnasium. It simply doesn’t get any better than that! After everybody graduates we have a week of celebration, where we get fucked up, wear silly hats and drive a truck while screaming (google it).
If you ask a Dane about their student week they will happily tell you all about how they; had sex with their ex, almost fell off the truck, went straight to Roskilde and didn’t have a voice for a week. If you have nothing to say to a Dane simply say this one word: “Studentervogn” and they will tell you stories for 2 hours straight. And voila, now they love you!
6. Hating the Swedes
Who even likes them? The Danes have a long history of hating the Swedes, and it definitely didn’t end yet. They stole our land, beat us in soccer and look like us. Urgg. The worst is when people think Denmark is the capital of Sweden. And they got all the coolest things like Ikea, mooses, ABBA and mountain. Jealous.
We don’t know why we hate them, we were just born that way. But we love the Norwegians. Not just because of Skam and Marcus and Martinus. They definitely helped, but Norwegians just have cooler accents and the guys are cuter.
We drink inside, outside, on our bikes, on bridges, on trains, in parks, on the sidewalk. You name the place, and a Dane has gotten drunk there. And I know what you’re thinking… We all love to drink. No no. Nobody drinks like the Danes. We have a high alcohol consumption and we are damn proud of it! We even have a special beer for each Christian holiday and treat J-day like a national holiday.
“HA HA HA, that was so funny”. Danes love humour, but only our own kind. “Klovn”, Alle for 3″ and “Anders Matthesen” is at the top of our list. You may not understand any of it, but just smile and laugh. It will all be over soon.
At times you may be a bit confused when a Dane is giving you a compliment in a strange voice. This is called sarcasm. He’s not really insulting you. Well, yeah he is, but he’s hiding it beneath a thick layer of sarcasm.
9. Prince Henri
Our very own french Prince Henri. We have a soft spot for this guy! A bit odd, writes poetry and has a weird fetish for people in animal costumes. Even though he’s lived here for 50 years, he still has a funny accent that nobody really understands. I guess we feel sort of bad for him, since he really wants to be king, but nobody will give him the damn crown. Poor guy.
10. Talking s*** about DR
“Do you hate paying license. ME TOO!” We all have to pay license for Denmark’s Radio, but according to everybody in Denmark, it should be banned, burned and spat on.
Nothing they make is apparently good enough and every time DR makes one little mistake the whole nation attacks. I think all Danes need to relax a bit, smile and watch “Bag Verden – Med Tobias”, because he is the sweetest guy, remember the fun times with “Monte Carlo” and listen to P3’s new joke program “LOL” (promise I’m not sponsored by those programs 😉 )
Hugge, håkke, høkge. The word on everybody’s mouth. And we do love it. Sitting in front of the fireplace, listening to Mads Langer, holding our loved ones hand and sipping chocolate milk. I bet you guys wish you had come up with a word for it before we did. Now you all have to come here to understand the meaning of it.
12. Roskilde Festival
ROSKILDEEEEE!!!! Enough said. The best music festival on earth (yes I am from Copenhagen, so I have to say this). Come rain, come sun, we will be there in the mud, getting wasted (ups, more drinking), listening to music we don’t know, waking up in unknown tents, getting married to Norwegian guys, puking, having beer for breakfast and attenting the Naked Run. If you haven’t tried it, go now!
13. Royal Copenhagen porcelain
Uhhhh so pretty. So expensive. So trendy. And BOOM we’re sold. This old fashioned porcelain is über modern and everybody has at least one cup for their instagram pictures. They may not use their porcelain very much, but they love looking at it and polishing it. So remember to compliment them on it, for they have been collecting the set since they were 16!
Let’s get to the good part. Danes love sex. That’s why you guys are visiting right? Well if it’s not, let me just explain. We love talking about sex, having sex, watching sex, writing about sex, having sex, fantasizing about sex, singing about sex. Yup I think I got it all. We have always been a very free and liberal country, and the whole image is pretty true. We have sex young, make commercials telling people to have more sex and love singing along to songs like “Tulips”. Ps. the song is not about tulips..
I think that’s just about has all the info you need to feel right at home here in Denmark. I hope you enjoy your stay and hopefully get a chance to try off your new Danish facts on some actual Danes! Enjoy!