Poetry

The sorrow

I can’t possibly comprehend what you are going through
The sorrow
Tears falling down
It doesn’t make sense
Why did it have to happen to you
This great loss
This horrible event

I see how strong you are
How you hold your head up every day
We can’t see the strength
The muscles you have trained to do this
How it eats you up slowly every day

To loose someone is never good
To loose someone so close to you is unbearable
I think of all the times you’ve shared
and how they must be painted with a different kind of glow now

How everything before that day will shine in a different light
For it will never be the same
How could it

Without you in the world
Without you to tell my deepest secrets to
You to hold when I’m feeling alone

I won’t say I understand
For I don’t
I won’t say it’s okay
For it’s not

I will say
That I love you tremendously
And I am truly sorry for your loss

Please don’t give up
We all want to help you through this

Poetry

Patterns

Patterns
The way I look down when I’m hurt

Same stories
The way you forget my feelings

Hands
The way I fumble with my fingers
Trying to make the pain go away

Burning eyes
I blink my eyes fast
And faster
Trying to make the hurt disappear

Force it to stay bottled up
For I can’t let you see the sorrow I feel inside
Can’t let you see my emotions

I don’t want to be vulnerable
Sensitive
I want to be strong

To keep the difficult feelings away
So I find the lid I foolishly took off
Attach it
Nice and tightly

Put a sticker on top saying
“Remember last time”
And put the bottle away

Where nobody can find it
And even if they do
I won’t open it for them

For I remember what happened today

⁃ I don’t want to hurt anymore

Poetry

I am

29 march 2019

I am

Worthy of love

I am

Confident in my skin

I am

A loyal friend

A helping friend

A happy friend

I want to succeed in life

Learn by my mistakes

And live life feely

I want to be positive

Seize the moment

Live life dangerously

I am

A writer

A poet

A daughter

A lover

An Aries

I am

So much more than I will

Ever understand

I am uncertain

Confused

Selfish

Selfless

Angry

Sad

Confident

Curious

I am

Everything in this world

I am

Every feeling

I am

Not sure who I am

I am

Who ever I want to be

Poetry

Even though

Even though I ended it
It still hurts to see your face in the crowd
To say hi as if nothing has changed

Even though I told you we’re through
I still get the lingering feeling of regret
As if I somehow made the wrong decision

Even though I know we don’t belong together
I sometimes wish that we did
It would make life much easier

Even though I’m standing strong before you
I hope you know
That deep down there’s a hurt girl
Who just want you to hold her
And tell her it will all be fine

⁃ I wish I could talk to you but I can’t

Poetry

Collapsed Universe

I didn’t know how to tell you
So I decided to write it down for you instead

I like you
I really do
But the truth is

I’m scared
Scared of liking you
Scared you might like me back

For what if we fall in love
Will it all happen again
The agony
The hurting

I’ve been loved before
Have someone mean the whole world to them
But then they tore that world down
Before I was ready to say goodbye

So I guess what I’m trying to say is
Be gentle with me
I may come off as strong and fierce
But you have to know
I’m only trying to survive
Trying to save myself from yet another dream being torn apart
Another universe collapsing before my eyes

I like you
I know that
I’ve tried to scare the feeling away
But they keep coming back
I’ve tried to run
Replace you with someone else
But you keep popping up everywhere

You like me
I see it in your eyes
The way you look at me
I don’t want to hurt you
Which is why I’m telling you this
For if I can’t be honest with you
If can’t be honest with myself
Then I will never heal

⁃ I want a universe to last